HowFresh EATS

Sip the Juice, Howfresh Got Enough to Go Around Vol. 1... Very Cherre Pure Tart Cherry Juice

2011-02-28T23:58:00.004-05:00

Eric B. & Rakim- Know the Ledge

Howfresh doesn't only eat. He drinks too. He needs to wash down the copious amounts of decadent fare he consumes on a daily basis. Preferably high in antioxidants, delicious, and absolutely no high fructose corn syrup. He is known to walk around supermarkets and grocery stores perusing their beverage sections looking for the finest liquids. Sip the Juice... will become a recurring post featuring these unique nectars. So tap the bottle, and twist the cap!

Since February is National Cherry Month, it's only right to spark this with some Very Cherre Montmorency Pure Tart Cherry Juice. I got a couple minutes before the clock strikes March. What we have here is pure tart cherry juice, 100% juice from concentrate. It was pricey at $3.50 for an 11 oz. bottle, but I'm a sucker for anything cherry (especially popping them- HOLLA!!) and a cool short, round bottle. Also, the cap said "antioxidant rich", something I'm aspiring to be.

The irony with my love for cherries is that I'm allergic to them. A little OAS (oral allergy syndrome) tries to spoil the fun. But I keep telling them, you cannot stop the kid, but only hope to contain him. I have learned that fruit in the natural, raw form only cause a reaction. When cooked, canned, and/or pasteurized, the symptoms (tight, itchy throat) are absent. Happens with peaches and apricots too.

For the small amount of juice sampled (1 bottle), it was extremely enjoyable. Montmorency cherries are the most popular sour cherry in the US, found most commonly in cherry pie. When drinking, there's a subtle sweet note followed by a tartness that lingers. This interplay between sweet and sour provides quite the satisfying experience. I find it delicious and a flavor I can't tire of. Very refreshing too.

Cherries are packed with a higher amount of antioxidants than most fruits, up on a level close to blueberries. According to Very Cherre, their juice contains an Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity (ORAC) greater than any other fruit juice, namely pomegranate and grape. Basically, the more ORAC units one consumes, the better chance they have to fight cancer and heart disease. Cherries also contain a high amount of melatonin, another antioxidant which is a compound used to fight insomnia. Who would have thought that these tiny red orbs are a powerful superfruit. I guess what they're trying to tell you is drink cherry juice if you want to be healthy.

Howfresh was not compensated by any cherry growers association for this message. He just loves the cherry.

Eric B. & Rakim- Know The Ledge INSTRUMENTAL

Do the Uptown Bounce, Do the Uptown Bounce, Do the Up, Do the What, Do the Uptown Bounce... Harlem Food Fest 2011.

2011-02-18T17:55:00.006-05:00

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It went down like this...

Zhigge- Rakin' in the Dough (Uptown Bounce Beats)

Zhigge- Rakin' in the Dough (Uptown Bounce Mix)

Zhigge- Rakin' in the Dough (Headboppers Mix)

The Situation: Between three and four hours to eat at the eminent eateries within the confines of 110th and 155th Streets according to HowFresh. Not samples or little bites, meals. Quality over quantity fams. We're not baby bulls rushing up the grassy knoll. We're Papa Bull status, enjoying the scenery, pacing ourselves to get right with the esteemed spots. And no fish. Yeah, it pissed me off too. My boy, and commenter extraordinaire Buckemdown, had some time away from life obligations and wanted to delve into the epicurean adventures in Harlem World. He reads the blog, he hears me talking about all the conquered eats and he wanted in. "A chicken leg gets eaten in the park, I want in. You guys got fat while everybody starved on the street. Now it's my turn." As long as it's not from the sea.

We had a car so maneuvering was fairly simple, just evading snow dunes and slush puddles. There was some strategy involved. The largest, most satisfying meal should lead off followed by smaller dishes, concluding on a sweet note. It's no surprise Charles' Country Pan Fried Chicken was the inaugural stop for the 2011 Harlem Food Fest. Coat the tummy well for the debauchery that was to follow. Patsy's would be hit and then there was a gray area. Play it by ear. 116th St. is teeming with African spots, some on my hit list, though I worried that fish would pose a dilemma, which it did, but you know how we do, take it back to the drawing board and re-execute. Then take it on home with some sugar, brown sugar. Ya dig!! See how it went down:

I'm on the Northeast Side of Harlem looking for a bust down, make me put my two arms up, touch down!

Charles switched things up and moved the steam table so it's front and center. No longer do you serve yourself now that a glass case protects the food from the nasty germs we bring in from the street. All good, takes a little more time, but at least ock ain't coughing on my collards. For the EXTREMELY thorough review/love letter to Charles read HERE.

You didn't think we were doing all you can eat?? My stomach's grown, but be easy. Meat and 2 sides ($9.99). Of course the fried chicken, opting for collard greens and potato salad. Bliss. Mac and cheese for tasting. A straight diabetes Arnold Palmer (half iced tea/lemonade) and a block of corned bread. Words can't explain my satisfaction with this meal.

Fried chicken sampler (boobie, thigh and leg) on Buck's plate with okra stew and baked beans. Big fan of the okra stew, and the beans were quite impressive. Just really rich, something to be wary of when dealing with all you can eat. Plan accordingly.

Le Pièce de résistance!!

Time for DIGESTION and MENTAL PREPARATION. Then hit the road.

Even though it's Black History Month, we had to pay Italians some love. Blacks and Italians love each other anyway- right? See Do The Right Thing. But pizza cures all differences. Rarely a parking spot to be found on 1st Ave., just double park and run in to place your order. For the record, Rao's was booked and couldn't fit us in.

I feel Patsy's makes one of the best slices in the city ($1.75). I opined a while back. Very thin, with a great char on the bottom. And those bubbles- I miss the days of hot bubbles on the pie. Blemishes are so attractive. Really though, I haven't had a slice from a local pizzeria with bubbles in ages. A tomato sauce that hints at sweetness but pulls away before it becomes cloying. This particular slice was too soggy, but I blame that on the rain. Must have permeated the oven. The slices are small, maybe 8" including crust, but on a marathon eating day there were no complaints.

On the road again.

Things then took a turn towards the interesting. Africa Kine, the spacious, 2nd floor Senegal eatery near the corner of 8th Avenue was the destination. Their lunch menu is limited so the possibility of an audible was very likely. At this point no alcohol had been consumed so we figured this was the opportune time to sauce it up. Mind you, Africa Kine has a BYO beer/wine policy so no laws were being broken.

Got some bottles, ascended the stairs and found an empty booth by the window. There were several diners but no waitstaff. In the past the servers are always far and few so we sat and cracked the Heiny. Finally a waitress came and we learned that only fish and lamb were available. As mentioned earlier, I had a feeling that fish would rear it's ugly, eyebrowless head. Lamb on the other hand just didn't sound appealing. So we put the open green bottles in a jacket pocket and kept looking.

Salimata, around the corner, had been on the hit list, and this was a perfect time to give it a go. 2 storefronts from the Aqsa Mosque, the bare-bones Salimata serves Halal Guinean fare. This posed a minor dilemma with the open bottles and extra brew in the bag. They do not have a BYO policy so we kept the haram liquid tucked away.

The options here were very limited as well but time was short and we weren't in the mood to keep searching. I've learned that many African spots serve a very abridged menu for lunch. And that's being generous- usually a dish or 2. The choices were a fish dish and tomato stew, so that meant tomato stew with goat accompanied by a large plate of rice ($10). The hearty, dark red stew with tender chunks of goat (and bone), carrot and potato had great flavor, but a bit oily, and by this point the Charles' meal was trying to bully the stomach. Buck stopped early, knowing there was more food to go, while my big eyes had me shoveling rice into the mouth. I find it quite difficult to let food go to waste or just sit there. As I begin this gym regimen, that's going to have to change.

One full avenue to the east was Make My Cake. Originally there were two dessert spots planned. Make My Cake and Levain Bakery, the renowned cookie maker from the Upper West Side. We weren't sure if Levain would be possible since their opening dates kept getting pushed back. Turns out that's still occurring as the ribbon cutting is set for March 1st. Very pleased they were closed, because while my eyes would say yes, my stomach couldn't have handled it.

The red velvet with cream cheese frosting at Make My Cake is all you need to know. Moist, decadent, delicious. Unfortunately all the red velvet cupcakes had toasted pecans this day so I went for another favorite, the butter cream, and some cookies for good measure. A perfect way to end a savory journey.

With the time allotted I think we did a great job. Of course there were other spots, but we weren't trying to feel rushed. Four quality eateries were visited leaving a true impression of the total dining experience (sans Patsy's- though an argument could be made that eating your slices in the car outside is the experience). Best believe if fish was approved, either Famous Fish or A Taste of Seafood would have been included. Where my seafoodies at?!?

Eating like this is no joke. Serious, serious business. Got home and passed out. Didn't have a bite of food till Sunday morning. 17 hours with no food is quite the rare occurrence. Already working on the next extravaganza.

Harlem Food Fest 2011 Itinerary:

Charles Country Pan Fried Chicken
2839-2841 Frederick Douglass Blvd. (8th Ave) between 151st & 152nd Sts.
New York, NY 10039
212-281-1800

Patsy's
2287 1st Ave bet. 117th St & 118th St
New York, NY 10035
212-534-9783

Salimata Restaurant
2132 Frederick Douglass Blvd. just south of 116th St.
New York, NY 10026
212-280-6980

Make My Cake
121 St. Nicholas Ave. on 116th St.
New York, NY 10026
212-932-0833
Website: www.makemycake.com

Valentine's Day for All the Lovers and Haters. 2011 Edition.

2011-02-15T15:19:00.006-05:00

Editor's Note: Eleven additions were made to this edition, along with re-upping every track so the listening experience can live another day. Divshare just doesn't cut it anymore. Sorry boo. (The download links haven't been updated with the new tracks). This took a long time, so I hope somebody appreciates it. Laugh, love, cry, break a computer screen, give a goon hand, whatever. No violence though. You hit a chick, you should have your face broken. And chicks, don't hit your dude. Enjoy.

Originally published in 2009:

Ah, February 14th. The day of love. Or not. I've been known to ship flowers cross country, or over seas, but today I let the roses live another day. In all honesty, if you love your lady you should get her shit all year, not just on this commercially motivated excuse to pamper your girl. But shit, in the grips of an economic chokehold a bouquet of carnations and a handful of Hershey's kisses should do the job. I've been sick as a dog spending the better part of the day compiling lists of tracks that one could play for their sweetheart, or ex-sweetheart. I tried to keep it even and tried to keep it hip-hop. If an R&B track is included it's because it contains a rap cameo or jacked a hip hop beat, or just because I fucking like it. My list, my rules. Before we get into the list I need to spark it with some real crooner shit- the king of soul in my opinion, Mr. Sam Cooke. How could your girl not love you after hearing this. I know mine did.

Sam Cooke- Desire Me

And here we go with the joints. No particular order. 53 joints in total (3 have been added- they were meant to be on but got lost in the shuffle- The Light by Pharoahe, Mahogany by Eric B & Rakim, and Ex Girl to the Next Girl by Gang Starr)- wow- shit took a while, so hopefully somebody enjoys it. It's personal, so I might be missing some shit you would include in your list. If so, hit the comments section and drop your thoughts. ~~I'm working on getting one link for the entire compilation.~~ The links for both the Love and Hate mixes are below- click on link. If you're not familiar with divshare, you can dl the file by clicking on the divshare logo to the right of each song.

HowfreshEats Loves V-Day 2009

HowfreshEats Hates V-Day 2009

Love is in the air:

Diamond D- This One

A Tribe Called Quest- Electric Relaxation

Sean Price- I Love You (Bitch)

Eric B & Rakim- What's On Your Mind

Ghostface Killah- Camay- baked Macaroni, turkey wings...

Mary J. Blige- All My Love

De La Soul- Eye Know

Common- The Light

MF Grimm- Bloody Love Letter

The Roots- Silent Treatment

Gang Starr- Royalty

Sean Price- Heartburn

The Roots- You Got Me

Pete Rock & CL Smooth- Lots of Lovin

Pete Rock & CL Smooth- Lots of Lovin Remix

Masta Ace- Beautiful

UGK- International Player's Anthem

Amerie- Why Don't We Fall In Love Remix ft. Cam'ron- what would this mix be without any Cam?

The Pharcyde- Passin' Me By

Pete Rock- Take Your Time ft. Loose Ends

Fat Joe- All I Need

Groove Theory- Tell Me Hip Hop Remix ft. Brand Nubian

Lost Boyz- Renee

Mya ft. Jay-Z- Best of Me Remix

DJ Shadow- What Does Your Soul Look Like Part 1

Pharoahe Monch- The Light

Eric B & Rakim- Mahogany

Sterling Simms ft. Jadakiss- All I Need

Freeway & Jake One- She Makes Me Feel Alright

Donwill- Laura's Song

Joell Ortiz ft. Novel- Call Me

Heartache:

Mayer Hawthorne & The County- Just Ain't Gonna Work Out

Brand Nubian- Love Me or Leave Me Alone

Main Source- Walking Out the Front Door

Gang Starr- Ex Girl to the Next Girl

Da King & I- Tears

Akinyele- I Luh Hur

Biz Markie- Just a Friend

I Gotta Love- Jin ft. Kanye West

Da King & I- Tears -Darp Vibe Mix

Kurious- Nikole

Ghostface Killah ft. Keisha Cole- Walk Away

Amel Larrieux- Sweet Misery (Stretch Remix)

Original Flavor- All That

Organized Konfusion- Why?

Ghostface Killah- Tooken Back

Three Times Dope- Funky Dividends

Heavy D & The Boyz- Truthful

Smooth- You Been Played

Raekwon ft. Mika- Once In a Lifetime

Mary J. Blige ft. DMX & Nas- Sincerity

Little Brother ft. Lil' Wayne- Breakin' My Heart

Miguel ft. Raekwon & J. Cole- All I Want is You

King Sun- Undercover Letter

No love, just HATE:

Eamon- I Don't Want You Back

Jim Kahn- Ho

Ghostface Killah- Wildflower

Street Smartz- Problemz

Ghostface Killah- Never Be The Same Again

Ghostface Killah- Back Like That- the puppies are staying...

Akinyele & Kool G Rap- Break a Bitch Neck

Cam'ron- Sorry

To end this on an upbeat note, the great Teddy P. He adds such enthusiasm to heart ache. It's true though, nothing's more liberating than getting over an achy breaky heart. Fuck bitches get money!!

Teddy Pendergrass- I Don't Love You Anymore

Punisher the Real Dope Homie.

2011-02-08T20:44:00.007-05:00

The first Latin rapper to baffle your skull...

11 years ago (plus a day). Damn, time flies. I remember being in the office when I heard Pun passed. I was working in the music industry back then. Yes, I did work at one point in my life. My desk sat across from Don Pooh Records, a subsidiary of the label. One of their artists was Sunkiss, Pun's right hand man. A cool cat, who'd always shoot the shit for a sec before stepping into do whatever they did. Rarely in a somber mood, you knew something was up that day. He broke the news and it was a straight shock. It was obvious that Pun was in extremely poor health, but dude was young and in the prime of his career. I just remember getting on the horn and hitting my circle, who at that time were major hip hop heads. Silence, followed by "Get the fuck outta here", in some form or another was the overwhelming reaction.

It only takes a verse to understand what you're dealing with. Straight nasty. Quotables upon quotables. However you were introduced to Big Dog Punisher, be it "Firewater", "Off the Books", "You Ain't a Killer" or the Clue freestyle over "Clones", that rapid fire, crystal clear profound inteligente spit was arresting. Shit made you stop whatever you were doing and just listen. I'm an unapologetic Fat Joe fan and it's understandable to think the 2 might sound similar based on appearance- they did dub themselves "Twinz"- but once Pun spewed a lyric, game over. No surprise that... Latins going Platinum was destined to come... became a reality.

"You Ain't a Killer" was the joint that caught me hook, line, and sinker. My favorite joint off of Capital Punishment. It was a promo only 12" and pretty hard to get your hands on. I found a copy at Kim's on W. 4th and was happy as a pig in shit. Young Lord blessed the beat with those sinister pianos and Pun went berserk. You be the judge.

Big Pun- You Ain't A Killer

"Ask anybody if my men are rowdy,
Give me the mini-shottie I body a nigga for a penny probably,
I'm obligated to anything if it's crime related,
If it shine I'll take it, still in my prime and I finally made it,
I hate the fact that I'm the last edition,
Rob me a stash magician,
Could of went to college and been a mathematician,
Bad decisions kept me out the game,
Now I'm strictly out for cream,
Doing things to fiends I doubt you'll ever dream,
My team's the meanest thing you ever seen,
Measured by the heaven's Kings, down to the devil's mezzanine"

Fat Joe & Armageddon- Firewater (Big Pun Tribute)- SOBs 7/27/10

This past summer Fat Joe performed at SOBs and ripped it more than you could imagine. Even the staunchest Joey Crack hater would have to cede that Joey did his thing. As you can see, he and Armageddon blessed "Firewater" then let the track ride out with Pun's verse. It was really dope to see Joe rhyming along to the words he he could remember and just being into it, a fan, paying homage to his former Terror Squadian. I can't call whether the Liza Rios slander was hyperbole or not, but you'd be lying if you didn't acknowledge Joe repping for his boy. Don't forget, I support Pun in anything he does, anything he loves, a brother from another mother, sent from the above.

Fat Joe - Firewater (feat. Raekwon, Armageddon & Big Pun)

A classic ad Loud did for Capital Punishment. Yankees and the Bronx. Dopeness. Since I'll never have the platinum plaque I got the next best thing, the poster, even with tack holes in the corners. It will be framed one day.

Never had a chance to catch Pun live. I don't recall there being many opportunities. His career was so short-lived with poor health playing a major factor in such limited performances. My brother hit the above show at Latin Quarter when on 96th and Broadway. Why I didn't attend, not a clue. Look at that line-up- Fat Joe, Pun, MOP, Black Rob and a young unknown Eminem. Look at him playing tertiary status. Damn. Below is another heavy hitter.

Big Pun & Ghostface- Yeah Yeah Yeah (Green Mix)

Green Lantern took the a cappella from "My World" off Endangered Species and freaked it. Apropos to use Terror Squad's "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah." It's tough listening to Pun late in his career. Compared to his earlier recordings, the breathing, or panting if you will, became more pronounced and his machine gun flow became semi-automatic, if not the speed of a revolver. The toughest part is knowing he died shortly after and his weight was the direct result of that. In an eerie way it's as if he's rhyming from his deathbed. I'm here to celebrate Pun's life and not wallow in the melancholy, but it's impossible to ignore and not make mention of it. He clearly was suffering and it's evident in the music.

I'm not a player, I just fuck a lot!! Holla. When doing so you best to wrap that shit up B. One of the best promo items ever. I wouldn't suggest using this one though. Expired back in January 2001.

And last but not least, DJ Soul just released an hour plus tribute mix to Pun that I highly recommend you peep. Exclusives, freestyles, hard to find tracks and top notch mixing. Get it HERE.

Oh-oh-oh Last Night, I Ate Smelts for the Very First Time, For You...

2011-02-02T21:27:00.016-05:00

After 7- Can't Stop

I lied, it was Saturday, not last night. The title was too good to tamper with.

When I saw the image of 3 tiny fish on the menu I acted. The dish was called Shishamo, but I hadn't a clue. It cost $4.75, an amount I was willing to gamble with. They don't call me High Roller How for nothing. The waitress said they were smelt, a fish I was familiar with but never tried.

When they were brought to the table I stared at them, not sure what to do. At 5 inches long and maybe an inch thick there isn't much room to work with. I called the waitress over, finger snaps and all that, and inquired on how to proceed. She said eat the whole thing. Beautiful. I'm not a fussy eater and these posed no fuss. I squeezed ample lemon juice on the trio and then the thoughts took over:

Were the bones going to be crunchy?

Were these going to be as strong and briny as sardines or anchovies?

And lastly, will the brains be gross?

It's safe to say that I am a moderatley adventurous eater and will try anything once, but there is always that moment of uncertainty. I'm making it sound like I ate a tarantula or some crazy shit. It's just an ittie-bittie-tittie-committee fish.

And then I bit the head off this little motherfucker. Like the savage that I am. To be honest, it was way more mild than I expected. For starters, there was no crunch of a tiny skull being shattered or eeny meeny eye balls popping. It wasn't as aggressive as the sardine or anchovy. The consistency was kind of mealy, mushy, not much tooth or chew. I took a peek into the body cavity but there wasn't much to report back. The crunchiest part was the tail. 3 was more than enough. Now I was ready to tackle May's Place 50% off sushi. To my pleasure smelts received a Good rating from the Monterrey Bay Seafood Watch. No need to purge. Holla.

Smelts are a great source of protein, similar to sardines, but high in cholesterol. With all the fish and shellfish I consume, cholesterol is a definite, and even though I enjoyed these little suckas, there are bigger fish to fry and crab to crack. Not that any fish are attractive, but these are rather ugly. Their eyes are bugging.

The One Who Smelt it Dealt it could have been the title but I gave up potty humor in 2010.

Originally I had the Little Shawn track lined up to be the headliner, but after further review, I opted for the original. It deserved top billing just based on the fact that the producer is Howie Tee. I need not say more. Here it is anyway:

Little Shawn- I Made Love (4 da Very 1st Time)

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 9- Top Potato Edition.

2011-01-19T21:44:00.009-05:00

DJ Chuck Chillout & Kool CHIP - Gimme Minze

Ooooooh. Let the track knock. "Yo Chip, go bust a line or 2..."

It's been a while since I last opined about the potato. A lot has changed. If you recall, the OG Lay's Kettle Cooked was my numero uno. It's been a year plus and feelings change. Those commitment issues keep rearing their ugly head. Had to kick that bird to the curb. No wifey trifey activity, just complacency. Like Killa says, you got that old head. There's new head out there. Her name is CC. Fresh off the Hyannis sand, rocking a Polo cable knit sweater over the oxford (all in pastel hues), J Crew khaki skirt, and some Tory Burch sandals. Who would have thought. Met her at a wedding. She liked my swag, thought I was Puerto Rican at first. Killed it with the white leather loafers. All she kept saying was "call me Papas Sexy." I lied, told her I was. Pulled the Dru Ha- "I always get the potato cause I tell them that I'm Spanish." Ultimately I fessed up. We're still rocking.

7 bags this time. 3 aren't kettle cooked. It disgusts me too. 2 of those 3 are classics as I'm sure many of you would agree. Trying to lock down some North Fork Chips for the blockbuster volume 10.

Now this saddens me greatly. What you see above was intended to be volume 9. Unfortunately, for matters I prefer not to discuss, I wasn't able to execute. Route 11 chips? Who even heard of those? Peep the Utz Mystic with the double masted schooner in the background. WHAT?!? Down the drain. I could have lied. Posted on false pretense, but that's not how the H doooos. The truth is eating a bowl's worth of stale spuds didn't sound too appealing. More than that, I wouldn't have been able to fairly assess the intended chip experience. Never again.

For this post I included all pertinent info on top- size of bag, price and sodium. New to this? Peep the previous 8 "Stacks (Potato) Chips..." installments here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, Vol. 7 and Vol. 8.

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Original
9oz./ $3.49./ 5% sodium.

What more is there to say? I believe it was all said up top. My main squeeze. Peep the packaging. A lighthouse. I love lighthouses. Edward Hopper steez. I'm a sucker for anything nautical. A necessity in the chip crate. All mid-sized chips with a great crunch. A bit lighter than Lay's kettle cooked, we going svelte in the uno uno. Pale yellow. The perfect mix of salt and sweetness of the potato. Mild flavors that keep you coming back for more. Addictive. Can dead a bag in one sitting. These really are phenomenal.

Archer Farms Traditional Kettle Cooked
8 oz./ 2 for $5 (only available at Target)/ 7% sodium.

A good chip with a strong crunch. Turned off by the excessive amount of folded chips. Let the potatoes stretch before you bag them. Not too salty and has a bland finish. Flavors just fall off, so you keep popping them in your mouth to feel the high. Colors vary with some chips having dark streaks but primarily golden yellow.

Deep River Snacks Rosemary & Olive Oil Kettle Cooked
5 oz./ $2.29/ 7% sodium.

Where's the romaine lettuce because these are croutons. Heavy crunch similar to them too. Shouldn't be surprised based on the flavor. Strong garlic finish. I forget why I copped. Probably just to pad the numbers. Deep River makes a quality thick, crunchy chip. Herbs are visible. Another victim of too many folded chips. Golden hued. Too many ingredients for me.

Archer Farms Macaroni & Cheese Thick Cut Crinkle
8 oz./ 2 for $5 (only available at Target)/ 10% sodium.

Was fiending for some macaroni and cheese when I saw these. Amazing how that works. Not a kettle cooked chip. Thick crinkle cut, a style I'm not a fan of. One handful and you've had enough. Rich. Wouldn't get again. OD on ingredients. Orangish yellow.

Original Lantchips Scandinavian Style Chip
Free with plate of Swedish Meatballs at Ikea.

Apparently I kept these around too long because when I opened the bag these tasted like shit. I blame myself for not respecting the laws of perishability. These get a mulligan. Next time I'm looking for Billy shelves I'll make sure to cop some chips and lingonberry soda. Nice color. Golden with brown ends.

Lay's Classic Chip
11 oz./ $3.99/ 7% sodium.

"Yo How- you ain't breaking new ground with these!" I know. I know. I know. But sometimes you got to stray from the plan of action. I pride myself on kettle style exclusivity but these chips are damn good. My favorite non-kettler. The bag helps too. Yellow is attractive and appealing. Market studies say so. The bag is big and easy to dip into. The chip count decreases with the quickness. Being a picnic chip, if I was in the Cloisters with a group of people on a sunny day eating a sandwich purchased from the Doowop Deli on 207th St., I would have these by my side. Large enough to split amongst a group, small, salty and a nice crunch. A bit too greasy though. Paler side of yellow.

Lay's Lightly Salted Chip
10.5 oz./ $3.99/ 4% sodium.

Same as above, just more sensitive to the needs of the high blood pressure posse. Fairly addictive. Late addition, not part of group photo.

Ayo I'm Hungry, Gotta Get My Grub on At Totto...- Totto Ramen

2011-01-14T16:38:00.003-05:00

The Beatnuts- Watch Out Now

Cue the flutes please. Good looks Herbie.

If you live north of 42nd St. and enjoy a tasty, hearty bowl of ramen then it is time to party. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!! We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn, Burn motherfucker! Burn! HOLD UP! WAIT A MINUTE! What's your Zodiac sign?!?! Capri... Wait, that's wrong.

Finally we have a pioneer willing to brave the rugged terrain north of 14th Street and sling the Japanese half soup/half amazing. Shit is crazy up there. Super tall buildings, men in suits, and tourists, those pesky tourists. His name is Ryuichi “Bobby” Munekata, sole controller of a mini empire of Japanese establishments in the midtown region specializing in yakitori. It was Mr. Munekata who was responsible for the chicken sashimi craze several years back. It didn't go over too well with the locals.

2 trips in and I'm about to say some crazy shit. You ready? Totto Ramen is the best ramen in New York City. There, I said it. Ippudo was being fed grapes on the throne while getting a manicure, unbeknownst to this uptown newcomer. This is said with great aplomb, having done the proper research. Ippudo, Momofuku Noodle Bar, Minca, Rai Rai Ken, Setagaya and others were visited, enduring football field lengths of noodles and gallons of broth. I'm not alone in this belief either. The resident ramen expert here at Howfresheats, Ramen Noodle Nico, fresh off a trip to Japan, warned me that Totto was next level before I even stepped foot in the sunken dining room on 52nd St. And I trsut him. Why? He's Asian, super Asian in fact. Filipino by way of Hong Kong, whose fam resides in Singapore, and his boss is Chinese.

Unlike the majority of ramen spots in NYC, Totto employs a chicken-based broth, straying from the typical pork bone tonkotsu version. This in itself creates a completely different dynamic. I was raised on chicken fat, good old schmaltz. Not the case with pork, which at times can be pungent and overbearing. Kosher ramen? Not exactly. The Totto Chicken Paitan Ramen ($9.25) broth gleams, silky yet rich, layered with flavor. Salty with strong hints of garlic that won't allow you to put down the spoon. It's really that good. Wavy, al dente noodles with a likeness to spaghetti, bathe in the broth alongside pork served 2 ways: sliced with a char from a blowtorch and shredded. Scallions sliced the long way and a sheet of nori are the final components of the dish. Delicious.

If you want a little kick (I refuse to make a karate reference) go with the Totto Spicy Ramen ($10.25). Rayu (spicy chili oil) and a spicy sesame oil are added to the original to turn up the heat. Very bearable. Has 2 chili peppers on the menu as opposed to the Extreme Spicy Ramen which brags 9 peppers. Nothing about that sounds remotely enjoyable. NOTHING. For texture, toasted garlic slivers and bean sprouts are added.

This dish still boggles my mentals. $4.50 for 3 large slices of lightly seared ahi tuna sitting atop several slivers of marinated avocado. Did I really just type $4.50? Yes I did. This is a special taped to the bar and the walls. Toasted garlic tops it for a little crunch and a pureed garlic sauce is on the side. The soy marinated avocado provides a tang that pairs so well with the fresh, clean tuna. I'm almost more tempted to go back for this than the ramen.

The spot is small. And be prepared to wait. My first time was an aberration. X-mas eve b-day dinner on the dolo and the place was empty. I know, I know. Who lets the birthday boy eat alone? There are approximately 10 stools at the bar though I prefer calling them front row seats. You get to see the ramen wizards at work. Tables are in the back- two 4 seaters and a 2 seater. The wait can be tough. Put your name on the hanging clipboard by the door and pray. The last trip was close to an hour wait. Miserable. The seasonal plastic waiting area helps keep out the cold but a chill still permeates.

Behind the ramen bar one of the chefs sears the pork with a small blowtorch. It's like a circus over there. Knife swallowing towards the back.

The magic cauldrons. Dare not look inside or else.

In all efforts to prevent being labeled partial to the West Side, Mr. Munekata opened a sister ramen establishment, Hide-Chan Ramen, way down the same street between 2nd and 3rd Avenues. It resides on the second floor, replacing one of his previous restaurants. It's swine-time over there, specializing in the tonkotsu broth. It is next-up on the hit list. Review coming soon.

Totto Ramen
366 W. 52nd St. bet. 8th & 9th Aves. closer to 9th
New York, NY 10019
212-582-0052
Mon - Fri 12pm - 12am
Sat - Sun 5pm - 11pm
CA$H ONLY
MENU

2011- Vroom! Vroom! Start it Up!! - Momofuku Noodle & Milk Bars

2011-01-10T17:51:00.008-05:00

Start It Up- Lloyd Banks ft. Kanye West, Fabolous, and Swizz Beatz

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2011. Put that volume on max, close your eyes, and envision Greenhouse on a Tuesday night with scantily clad ladies transporting sparkling bottles. Now we're rocking. As you read this I'm doing the motorcycle dance with one hand on the throttle, typing with the other. Vroom vrooming in my drawers. Going in circles though. Simple physics. Think about it.

Sparking the year on a sweet note, taking a page from my Jewish upbringing. Apples and honey spark Rosh Hashonah and in a secular world we do it this way. Red Velvet, Horchata, Old Fashioned Donut, and Cereal Milk softserve with a cornflake, marshmallow and chocolate chip cookie and a slice of the Grasshopper pie (think minty chocolate cheesecake with marshmallows), all courtesy of Momofuku Milk Bar. As the old adage goes, you get more with sugar than spice.

It's a shame I haven't expounded about my many trips to Momo Milk yet. The research has manifested itself in almost a 2 stone increase on the scale. And it was within these walls that a very special title was bestowed upon my crew and me by the always cheery Miss Info:

I'm finally getting over that barb, but it was tough. Had me second guessing every photograph I took thereafter. Main lesson learned, don't hang out with people that wear Bang Bros. or "I Fisted Hilary Scott" shirts, even if they are on Millionaire Match Maker. Creepy Dave "So what's your story???" steez.

I won't go into depth about my many visits, I'll just leave you with one piece of advice, GO THERE. Red velvet, along with horchata, was brought back for their anniversary and will be leaving the building January 12th. It's short notice, only 2 days left, but try to make it. Then go back on the 13th and bug them to make it a permanent flavor like cereal milk. Also get a compost cookie.

Prior to the sugar bowl, Momofuku Noodle Bar provided the savory sustenance. I like to keep it consistent. As usual Ippudo was packed to the hilt and after a little East Village wandering, it was decided that the second best ramen was there. I do not care for the $16 price tag, but they make a good bowl. The broth is clearer than most other ramen slingers, but the poached egg's runny yolk creates the creamier broth we have grown accustomed to. Extremely heavy on the pork, using a healthy slab of pork belly along with some shredded pork shoulder. 2 slices of fish cake, a generous amount of chives and sliced bamboo round out the party.

This is 2011. Momo pork buns? I'm off that. Garcon, the healthy option my friend. Squares of shrimp terrine sitting in the pillowy white dough (2 for $10). A little lettuce and sauce some say reminds them of a Big Mac. Texturally on point (has that snap), salty and enjoyable without the guilt. Unless the shrimp are from Asian bodies of water. Then I'm freaking out. However I doubt Chang would do that based on his locavore/sustainable ethos. See below for the block of shrimp.

Tamales were listed on the specials board so we got the trio including kimchi pork, chicken mole verde and jalapeno queso (3 for $8). Don't love tamales and didn't love these. Maybe it's the masa, maybe it's the wrapping leaf. Can't call it.

Finally got my first post up in 2011. Here's hoping it's not the last! La Chaim!!!

Momofuku Milk Bar
207 2nd Ave. on 13th St.
7 days a week: 9am - 12am
AND
15 W. 56th St. bet. 5th & 6th Aves. (The Chambers Hotel)
7 days a week: 8am - 12am

Momofuku Noodle Bar
171 1st Ave. bet 10th & 11th Sts.
Lunch
Mon – Fri: 12pm – 4:30pm
Sat - Sun: 12pm – 4pm

Dinner
Sun – Thurs: 5:30pm – 11pm
Fri - Sat: 5:30pm – 2am

NO RESERVATIONS unless eating Fried Chicken Meal.
MAJORITY OF TIME THERE IS A WAIT, especially during prime dining times.

3, is the Magic Number!

2010-12-24T21:08:00.009-05:00

Bob Dorough- Three is the Magic Number

Happy Birthday to me (HowfreshEats) and me (Howfresh)!!! 3 years since I stepped on the scene. Originally a gift that was meant to keep giving, but writing's become more a chore than the fun, creative outlet it's supposed to be. We've been slow motion for the past year or so, only 17 posts thus far. A tad more frequent than that female friend. Don't fret- engine's revved, foot's on gas, optimism for numero cuatro. I do appreciate the few readers that have stuck around- those stubborn mufuers.

De La Soul- Magic Number

This the type of soiree we're talking about. That photo is more of a reenactment but you get the picture. Less pigs at my party. I'm in to more stand-up broads. Peep the cake though. We had the sparklers sparkling. I see my man Puerto Rico in the corner. What up playboy!!

Then shit got crazy. I really have no explanation other than shorty wanted cake on her bum! I ain't eating off it though. Don't really know her too well. Kind of pissed cause the artwork and frosting was PROPERS. She was expeditiously removed from the venue. We're too highbrow for these sort of shenanigans. And her boobie's looking all sorts of retarded, tampered with steez. We only deal with Mensa itties!!

Oh Shit! I knew I forgot something!

2010-12-13T00:59:00.004-05:00

My blog.

Here's hoping it doesn't happen again.

I'm glad I was able to have Dennis Franz portray the melon slapper. NYPD Blue was my shit.

Come on the Blog like duh duh duh duh, With Some Fugazi Tickets & a Fitted...

2010-09-16T23:17:00.007-04:00

Jay-Z- Jigga That Nigga

If anybody knows Martin @ 212-960-3080 tell him I'd like to speak with him. There seems to have been some sort of miscommunication. I said I wanted real tickets that admitted entry. Not the kind that leave you embarrassed at the gate short $250. I need to be more clear next time. Cocksucker.

But at least I get to create my own rendition of the Mastercard Priceless ads:

Fresh out the box BX Nike Air Force 1s- $135.

Crisp Yankees World Series '09 fitted- $40.

Section B4 Jay-z/Eminem tickets with invalid barcodes- Priceless. Literally price-less.

50 hours have passed since realizing I was duped, played, treated as a mark, etc. I'm over it. Nobody wants to lose money, but more importantly I really wanted to be posted up in centerfield in Yankee Stadium. Hallowed ground where the Mick, Joe D, Rickey, Bernie Baseball and so on snagged fly balls and grabbed their crotch. I am aware that none of these players ever played in A-Rod's cribbo but we're discussing the legacy of New York's CF. It's all for naught since I never made it past the turnstyle.

I was giddy all day. Shit, I wanted to get fresh. How Fresh? Easter in September. Hit several sneaker spots but nothing caught my eye. Not that I don't have special event jumpoffs, just aware that kicks could get mightily fucked the fuck up when there are a lot of feet around. Point is I was hyper than the hyper.

I was comfortably lounging on the BX 12 stuck in traffic over the Harlem River when I got the BBM telling me the terrible news. Somebody tried the tix and was denied entry. To say my mood changed with the quickness would be quite the understatement. Having copped off a dude from Craigslist we joked that we'd be cloud 9ing it till we got 86ed at the stadium. After the laughter comes...

From what I caught on 161st St., the show sucked. Sound was terrible. Haha. Nah, I make chistes. Jiggaman brought out Mary for "Heart of the City". That right there was worth the price of admission. Everything else would be a bonus. Especially Drizzy and Nicki. Pardon me while I fart. Who am I kidding, peep the H-Pod and you might catch me with the baby bills crew screaming "Free the Baby F Weezy!!" Then again you might not.

The conclusion we came to is as follows: The tickets were real but the barcode was used with a matching e-ticket or the tix were put on Stubhub thus invalidating the barcode. The black circle is from a scalper I was talking to. He put a lighter to the bottom and said that if a black circle appears and the ticket doesn't burn it's a real ticket. Exactly what happened. Doesn't make matters any better. Just taught me and others that this ticket shit is not a game. Doubt I'd cop tix off C'List ever again unless escorted to the gate.

You didn't think this would end on a sad note? Never that. Headed into the city with my drunk corporate connects. I was sober and fairly miserable. After several attempts at finding grub after 11pm on a Tuesday we found ourselves at PJ Clarke's under the Empire Hotel on 63rd and Columbus Ave. Open till 1am 365 days a year, so they say. Through the glass I saw "Kusshis" on the chalkboard over the raw bar. The mood changed. Puppydogs and ice cream came back into play. Amazing how an oyster can change the color of my mood ring. Ugh, pardon and fuck me for that one. Just paraphrasing my boy Sammy Sifton who paraphrased...

Not the best Kusshis I've had. Smaller and not as firm as usual. Also lacking that dynamic taste experience- no briny, sweet, cucumber combo. Salinity was the main note. Shell fragments were a tad too many. Graveyard shucker needs to hone those skills. We split 2 dozen in which I must have consumed 18? Good looks Arc-doggy. And the skirtsteak? Wow. Impressed. Butter soft, no gristle. Delicious. Fall off the bone baby back ribs? Yes indeed. Tender as the talent (not on stage) in Yankee Stadium.

One last thing for shits and giggles: Waiting for a cab on 161st and the Concourse during Em's show I pulled out the camera to take a pic of the fireworks coming from the stadium and what appears? "No Memory Card." Now imagine I was in there and no card? Aw man homie. Rookie moves coming from a vet are the true definition of hustling backwards.

Who You Know Fresher Than How? Riddle Me That....

2010-07-11T14:28:00.003-04:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're far too kind (for still checking out HFE)...

Jay-Z- Encore

Now can I get an encore? Do you want more????? Shit, it kind of makes sense. Now what the hell was I waiting for??? I've been gone for close to 60 days so an encore is in store for those still in attendance. It's safe to call this an encore, hopefully a permanent one, as the content and themes are still the same. I want my residency back.

I see the irony too. How fresh? Fresh??? What the fuck are you talking about? Dormant's more like it. Not a coma because I've been moving around. Heavy in the streets in fact. Nothing rotten or putrid though. No nasty stench when you walk in the room. I kept the AC on high so not to let all the produce go to waste. But you can only look at the same zucchini and red pepper for so long. Don't worry, we got some shipments on the horizon. No Fresh Direct, we hit straight from the farm. Please wipe your dirty footwear on the welcome mat. This time of season is special too- tomatoes!!!! I love me a good tomato. Matches my all red Nike Air Max '09s.

Freeway- Where U Been

Howfresh where you been????

Between eating, drinking, traveling, going to shows, listening to every new Cam record ad nauseum and hand-stitching the fitted cap above, where could I find the time? My clock only has 24 hours in day. It's pretty amusing that most of the things I partake in are fueled by the notion that I will write about them (eventually). Eventually finally knocked on my door so let's crack those knuckles and get the keyboard keyboarding. Believe you me, I got material. Classic Material!! Classic Material!! Howfresh Eats with the Classic!!! Classic Material!! Classic Material!! Now all I need is the discipline. Self-control is far from my strong suit.

We all know I love the H. Unhealthily? Obsessively? Narcissistically?? H-ubristcally?? I disagree with the last 2. Please don't misinterpret my H-ness for conceit. Personally I find it anything but the truth but there are some H-aters out there. Unfortunately the H Well is rather arid. There are some joints out there but the idea of shelling out $60 plus for a fitted doesn't agree with me anymore.

So we improvise. Think outside the box (or front panels). And now an entire new universe has been introduced. A while back I copped a Frank's Chop Shop joint and worked around the "F". The double-sided extra thick bill isn't aesthetically pleasing and compromises the fit of the entire cap. A shame because there's a plethora of them. "F" caps are hard to come by. Marlins, U of Florida, a minor league team hear or there. So I went left and got cozy with the "W". The Nationals cap is perfect. A clean, respectable W. Bordering on hoighty-toity with some flair. Finger out when I sip my chamomile, but I'll still say hello and acknowledge your presence. I'm a people person. Don't get it twisted.

Big shouts to Amidou up on 109th for lacing the kid. Lids and other authorized New Era stores are prohibited from touching the front panels. So I dig deeper. In criminal, stealth like fashion, he did a great job. I fully recommend his services. We got more in the works so stay tuned.

The Element of Surprise... Jay Electronica & the ESPN Zone Cheesesteak.

2010-05-15T10:59:00.006-04:00

Upset the set up, the element of surprise...

Surprises. Some are for the better, some the worse. You find out your ex-girl you still have feelings for is pregnant by some piece of shit, with quadruplets- terrible surprise. An estranged great uncle left you a yacht, vineyard and lootcakes that measure 20 ft high- an awesome surprise. Bad broad in the building digs you too- pretty great surprise. An extremely talented artist that you heard had a poor live show flipped it and did his thing- pleasant surprise. A Disneyfied Times Square establishment churns out a non-offensive (decent in fact) meal while you watch your team win- pleasant surprise. You get it. Some are hypotheticals. Others are real talk, true story, I really mean it, word is bond, bladda bladda bladda steez.

So this fucking bitch got knocked up by this Job Corps cat. You believe this chicken face? Said she loved me and wanted to be with me... Nah, I'm playing. #2 happened. I'm deading this blog shit, I'm rich bitch. If you're my peoples we ride together, I got you on oysters and Napa Valley white- I told you he had a vineyard. If you aren't, I suggest you befriend me quick, cause these greenbacks are incendiary and will be ashes before you know it. Uncle Irwin. Good man. Gone too soon.

I lied, no wealthy family members. Just hoping my brother makes it so I can get the West wing. Rather watch the sun set than rise. Ya digs? Let's go Al. Finish that thesis already. Shit's taking FOREVER.

Bad bitch in the building? Working on that.

OK, OK, OK. 4 and 5 occurred. On the same night mind you. That was sort of my fault as I'll explain shortly. The stars were aligned. The man, the myth, the legend known to mere mortals as Jay Electronica was billed to open for N.E.R.D. at Irving Plaza aka Fillmore NY on Wednesday, April 28. Quietly promoted, luckily my boy put me on to it and furthermore blessed us with the tix. VIP status as well which enabled the nice footage. Peep below. N.E.R.D.? Couldn't care less. If I don't like it, I don't like it, that don't mean that I'm hating. Common knows, even though I kind of hate him now. No hate. Mind you this show occurred prior to the Jay Elec v Kay Slay squabble, and while I rep NYC hard, I still fux with Jay.

The odds that Jay Elec actually shows up range from 5-2 to 11-1. I was leaning towards the latter, though not as high. Several hours before show time word was that he'd hit the stage at 8 pm or so. What. Thee. Fuck. Is. That. About.? This is hip hop. The freaks come out at night steezos. But I was cool with that. Lloyd Banks and Reflection Eternal were doing their thing at Nokia Theater, or so I thought, and all I wanted to do was peep Beamer, Benz, and Bentley live. Believe that. The early show would have enabled the double dip.

Exhibit A

Much to my surprise Jay hit the stage shortly after 8. Irving Plaza was pretty packed. Putting the sound board towards the back center of the main floor forced people to get tight. Poor usage of space in my opinion. But I digress. Jay did his thing off the bat. Full disclosure, I'm not up on his entire catalog. I know the heavy hitters along with some other joints that had beat knocks. But the standom only goes so far.

Exhibit C

We all know he's a cerebral rapper. A dope and refreshing element to a rather ignorant bunch. Dumb Rappers Need Teaching... But I'm a boom bap cat and I need that beat. A cappellas are cool but let the track ride. I didn't come here for spoken word homie. He was able to incorporate both into the show. On Exhibit C he kept motioning for the DJ to cut the beat so his lyrics would get top billing. Somewhat overdone and offbeat, but he killed C so I still got loose. For a song of that caliber the crowd was hyped early but fell off. Come on people- that shit is CRAZY. The thing that was most impressive was his banter with the audience. Joking with fans and having a good time. Singling out a chick on the mezzanine who had her back to the stage and having the audience get at a cat who jeered him. Think of the "Asshole" chant directed to a Sawx fan. He made it personal. Light and loose, all with a smile. For a younger audience, that's a dope thing. Fun at a hip hop show?? Never that. The stan level increased.

The World Is Yours

So the show ends and it's early, 9pm-ish. Banks isn't hitting the stage till at least 10pm. BBB is the hottest shit out and I just wanted to see the crowd go APESHIT (see 5:30). Caught the N to Times Square and we're good money. Not even 10 pm. Hit the ATM to deal with the scalpers and then I realize that the show is the following night. FUCK ME x 1000. Silver lining- I'm closer to home, my boy takes Port Authority, and we didn't want to see N.E.R.D. anyway. And the Yankees game is on. But where to eat? Unfortunately the Village Voice's top 10 eats in Times Square wasn't published yet. It was all on me since this dude was cleansing or some shit like that. I roll with healthy folks. But whatevs fams. I'm about to pig the fuck out.

Sports was all that mattered so ESPN Zone it was. I know I've gotten on people heavy for eating there, so maybe it's somewhat hypocritical, me being the gourmand that I am, but we all have weaknesses. No time to waste. Plus I was buzzin' cousin. Chicken fingers and the cheese steak. I needed that unhealthy heavy shit. I had a trek uptown ahead of me and I needed that energy.

The chicken fingers are very enjoyable. Generously sized and far from dry. They're fried and there's honey mustard. How bad can it be? I was more nervous about the cheesesteak, being somewhat of a cheesesteak snob. I didn't want a burger and doubling up on chicken was a no-no. Need to diversify that bitch. For real, for real, pleasantly surprised. According to the menu "shaved ribeye with onions and mushrooms, topped with provolone cheese." Prefer a wiz or American but this is fine. The bread was the most impressive. Light, airy, yet strong enough to hold everything, and there was a lot to hold. Steak, onions with a nice crunch, mushrooms and cheese. Maybe I was a little drunk, maybe a little hyped from running uptown, maybe I was starving. Regardless, I was extremely satiated and pleased with the choice.

My boy's meal. A Caesar Salad without the fade. Lettuce, cucumber and lemon. Nothing else. The waitress felt so bad she kissed the baby's forehead.

Fish Taco Face-Off. Pinche Taqueria vs. La Esquina Taqueria.

2010-05-03T17:12:00.001-04:00

I hate commitment. I just can't do it. Get the sweats, short breaths, lose focus. Start freaking out. Need to keep things on a whim- no handcuffs. In and out. That's why tacos work well with me. Hand-sized, easy to eat, limited mess (all depends on one's dexterity). They're gone before you know it, so you have the option to order more or switch things up and diversify the portfolio. Fish tacos in particular are healthy, light and refreshing. The perfect mid-afternoon snack. Heading uptown to catch wreck on some Charles' fried chicken at 7? A 3 pm fish taco will hold you down. It's a shame they aren't more prevalent in the Big Apple. NYC is a harbor city you know.

Pinche Taqueria and La Esquina Taqueria are 4 blocks from each other. Prime time taqueria territory. There is another Pinche on Mott between Prince & Spring but I like to move in straight lines- rook status. Closer to a subway too.

Let the battle begin...

La Esquina's Pescado A Las Brasas Taco

This taco consists of grilled market fish with shredded cabbage, red onion and salsa verde ($3.95). The operative word is grilled. It is healthier than the fried version below, but doesn't help much when it comes to taste. The fish has a burnt, acidic, bitter essence. It's not charred, cooked very well in fact, but this underlying unpleasant taste overpowers every bite. Even the accompanying cabbage and salsa couldn't provide a fresh experience, something fish tacos usually do.

Served on a 6" taco, the chunk of fish is dwarfed by the tortilla. 6" taco with a 2.5" chunk of meat. Hmmmm. That means 3"s of just shell and cabbage. It's a rather hefty chunk of fish, and could easily be sliced in half to cover the entire surface area, but isn't. Honestly though, based on the taste it's probably better served in limited portions.

Pinche Taqueria's Taco de Pescado

Line caught mahi-mahi served on a slightly smaller tortilla with cabbage, chopped onion, cilantro and a smooth bright green cilantro dressing. Flavors upon flavors. Textures upon textures. The slender piece of fish is lightly fried having a nice crunchy shell. The fish remains moist and flaky. The fried aspect might irk a few, but the enjoyment and satisfaction should make up for your health quirks.

As mentioned in previous posts, I'm a sucker for cilantro. It adds a clean, cool dimension. And that's exactly how it went down. Big said it best, Cool as a fan, fish tac in hand... No matter what wonders cilantro can do, I don't think it would have helped Esquina's taco.

As a bonus I got Pinche's taco de camaron. Ocean caught shrimp served in similar fashion to the fish, just not fried. Pleasant flavors but over-cooked. A bit dry. For what it's worth several people mentioned that the Mott St. location executes the scrimp taco better.

I like the fact that both spots appear to use fresh, high quality ingredients. Since both places are made to order the wait is usually 5-10 minutes depending on the crowd. But the similarities end there. When it comes to flavor, Pinche is overwhelmingly ahead. El Rey del Taco de Pescados.

View Larger Map

La Esquina Taqueria (A)
114 Kenmare St. on corner of Centre St.
NY, NY 10012
646-613-1333
Mon - Sun 12 pm - 1:30 am
www.laesquinanyc.com

Pinche Taqueria (B)
333 Lafayette St. off Bleeker St.
NY, NY 10012
212-343-9977
Sun - Thurs 10:30 am - 11 pm
Fri- Sat 10:30 am - 12 am
www.pinchetaqueria.us

H is for H.B.I.C.

2010-04-19T17:20:00.005-04:00

The H rocks 40" cables, eating black label, My chain hang down to my dick my piece bang glass tables...

Mobb Deep- Quiet Storm

Aw man homie. This blogging shit is not a game. You knew it was inevitable. Shirts, hats, plaques, signs, belt buckles, carpets, rings, pendants, tattoos, name changes, etc. This was no accident. Heading back from Opening Day, THE YANKEES WIN!! THE YAAAAAAANKEES WIN!!, I came across the H on diamonds. It just so happened to be directly behind the BX12 bus stop (see the reflection). Had time to kill so I'm peeping the jewels. You know, the same old bullshit- gaudy iced out watches, Jesus pieces, a variety of chains, some G-Shocks, rings, bracelets and so on. Sandwiched between a bodega and 99 cent store. I wouldn't call it high-end.

Huh? What? An H piece? For real? In all my years of truck jewelry window shopping I can't recall seeing that H. H-ayzeus, but no H. Ya dig? Speaking of which, the H was sitting between a script J and a Jesus piece. J for Judas maybe? I'm not even trying to get biblical. No higher meaning necessary. What cat sold this back to this place? H-ector, H-orhay. I'm thinking it was a Spanish dude. Just a H-unch. How many bags of H-eron were sold to furnish that piece? Doesn't matter, the blood has already been washed. At least that's what I'll think to remove the guilt once I purchase the fucking thing. I was in front of the store again Sunday following yet another Yankees victory. But you already knew that. The intentions of inquiring about the price were there, but the bus came, and with Sunday MTA schedules I didn't want to risk it. I'll be back shortly. Turns out there's an African restaurant I want to hit several blocks south on Jerome Ave. so we might 1-2 punch it.

When dealing with baby princess cut diamonds in a platinum setting I can't just throw any H fitted out there. We need some majestic shit. I believe the above cap fits the bill and then some. Baby H-ippo skin dyed in teal extracts from the H-imalyan H-ighlands. I know, this shit sounds crazy, but I couldn't even make this up if I tried. I don't even know how this bad boy made it through customs. Baby hippo poaching is illegal. It's sad.

Found this in the mail about a month ago after a h-omegirl from the West Side looked out for the kid. Another Hall of Fame "Mighty H" creation. The Zeus-like lightning bolt, backyard speak with thunder... Peep the detail. Very soft to the touch, as baby hippos are. The stitch- hand done by master tailors in H-ollywood. The attention to detail is unparalleled.

Not just looking fly, but feeling good. Words of encouragement on the dome piece. By laws of osmosis the idea that 2nd Place Sucks will permeate into the membrane. I can't lose with this one.

Silk lining? Indeed. Thai silkworms working hard for the kid.

Crustacean Nation Stand Up!! The 2010 Crawfish NY Boil.

2010-04-09T16:37:00.006-04:00

I get the boil boiling...

I love crawfish, beer, outdoor events, and spring in NYC. You love reading this blog. Therefore it would only make sense that you love what I love. Transitive property thinking in FULL EFFECT. But this time, rather than talk about what happened, with vivid photos and witty commentary (tell me I'm lying), why don't you come along and experience it for yourself. You don't need to wear an H cap or have any Cam on your ipod (though preferable) to rock with the kid. Just make sure Saturday, May 15th is free from 4 pm - 8 pm for the 2010 Crawfish NY Boil, ~~arguably~~ the best outdoor food event held in NYC. Big Apple BBQ block party gets it in, but this is on the water, less crowded, there are no lines, and money is raised for a worthwhile cause. And there are crawfish, crawfish and more crawfish. Just look at that photo above. Taken at the '09 extravaganza. Buttahfingas.

SolarOne is the location, just south of 23rd and the FDR. People will be looking at you while you mutilate these little mudbugs, jealous they can't partake in the festivities. Beat it suckas!!! Please don't throw the empty carcasses at them. We're better than that. You can curse at them though. All we have to pray for is a beautiful day. Sun, lots of it, and a slight breeze blowing 5-7 mph NW. That's not too much to ask for. $75 gets you at least 4 table loads of crawfish (this was more than enough, basically all you can eat), as well as all the Six Points brew and Hurricanes one can imbibe. If Saturday doesn't work for you, it's about to go down... on Sunday too. If we're lucky we might even see some cats spitting Kanye lyrics at the East River mini-waves. I couldn't make that shit up if I tried. THESE TICKETS SELL OUT FAST SO ACT QUICK. To purchase tickets or for more info click HERE or check below:

CRAWFISH BOIL FOR A SONG 2010

Crawfish NY presents our 5th annual crawfish boil fundraising event!

This year we will be raising money for the organization, Kids Need A Melody, dedicated to providing free music classes, instruments and concerts to young children living in the shelter system.

This epic two day crawfish extravaganza will take place at, SolarOne, a gorgeous outdoor venue on the East River at 22nd Street.

Each day we will be shipping up over 1,000 lbs of live crawfish and cooking them up at the party with potatoes, corn, mushrooms, garlic, onions, and sausage. All washed down with ice cold SIX POINT BREWERY BEER and NEW ORLEANS HURRICANES.

Come join us and eat crawfish for a cause!

Tickets are $75 and must be purchased in advance. There are only a limited number of tickets available so buy now:

SATURDAY, MAY 15* FROM 4-8PM @ SOLAR1, 2420 FDR Drive South
*RAINDATE SATURDAY MAY 22 – NO REFUNDS, NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

SUNDAY, MAY 16* FROM 3-7PM @ SOLAR1, 2420 FDR DRIVE SOUTH
*RAINDATE SUNDAY MAY 23 – NO REFUNDS, NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

TO PURCHASE TICKETS CLICK HERE.

Giddy to the tiddy!! LET'S DO THIS!!

I do the Recruiting, I Tutor the Students... Cam'ron @ Highline Ballroom 3/31/10.

2010-04-06T02:45:00.006-04:00

I nurture their brains, I'm moving the movement...

You might've heard there was an XXL Freshmen of 2010 show at Highline Ballroom this past Wednesday, but all I know is that I was at a Killa concert. Young rappers need teaching... Yeah, a group of cats performed, more or less internet fan-boy artists, but I was too busy sipping my cabernet to pay them any mind. Seriously? Who drinks '08 cab at a Cam show. Walk with me people.

It felt like Tramps circa '96. You know, standing around for hours, waiting for the main event. I hated it then and I despise it now. But there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. No rainbow. Haha. I had to laugh. Plus with the all the fuckery among the crowd, amusement was available at the drop of a dime. What kind of amusement? How about this one. I really mean it...

Some cat engages me in the following exchange as he walks to the bar:

Dude: Who's up next?

Me: No clue.

Dude: I think it's Donnis.

Me: No clue.

(Through speakers DJ screams Donnis up next)

Dude: I told you it was Donnis. You owe me a drink.

Me: No doubt. Next time.

Dude: You don't like him?

Me: Never heard of him. I'm here to see Cam.

Dude: Ahh. Which crew you like more Skull Gang or U.N.?

Me: Don't give a shit. Whichever Cam is part of.

Dude: OK. You want a drink?

Me: No thanks. I'm good.

Dude: You sure? Want a beer?

Me: Nah, I'm cool.

(puts arm around my shoulder)

Dude: I like you. (several second pause, as in silence) No homo.

Me: Thanks. No homo.

Who says that? Aside from this retard. He was a hot mess. Trying to give me a pound every time he walked past. Leave me alone, let me just live my life... So apropos. Fams, back up off me, give me room to breathe. Best believe I will take him up on that drink offer if I ever see him again though. No ho... At least he didn't tell me he loved me as he did my man's homegirl. I think they had their first date tonight. Right Yooj?

I'd say Cam hit the stage around 1 to a full house. PACKED. As my man Dallas Penn says, most of the industry shitbags shot for the exit, but who needs them anyway. I don't even know which track he came out to, never heard it before. He was rhyming over his own vocals, which is a concert no-no, but whatevs. Only lyric I remember was "Picture it, vision it, about to drop on ya'll like pigeon shit."

Vado emerged once Killa spit his shit and the crowd got even more hyped. Of all the new cats, these so-called "freshmen", Vado's probably the dopest of them all. Yeah, I might be sipping some Kool-Aid based on association, but he's been pretty consistent with dropping joints. At least he has an ear for good music. "Large on the Streets" knocks (the '10 version of Big L's "Ebonics) and "No Turning Back" is that gritty NYC Nike boots in dirty snow steez. In hindsight getting snubbed by XXL worked to his advantage. He didn't get lost among the relatively banal newjacks and had Killa as his hype man. No Byrd Lady though.

Who is she? I have no clue. Quite intrigued though. Maybe 4' 10". The right side of her head was shaved. Interesting. Check the last video below. Apparently this is the chick that sang on "Cuffin'", a track that I banged heavy in late 2009. It never made the Boss of All Bosses 1 or 2, but that beat had me from get. Yeah, Gucci Mane was on it, but he rhymed last so I just brought it back. "Yo, I get Velveeta, Chain Antarctica...My cheese American, but the cars are foreigner." Double cheese references. Wow. Peep...

Cuffin'- Cam'ron ft. Vado & Gucci Mane

The catalog is deep, but the set was short. You didn't feel gypped, just wanted more. Following Vado's set Killa set it off with "I Really Mean It." That's some grand opening, grand closing shit right there. Bananas. In no particular order he ran through "Wet Wipes", "Suck it or Not", "Get it in Ohio", "Dipset Anthem", "Down and Out", "Cuffin'" and I can't recall any other joints. No "Amber Lamps" though. "Sorry" neither. All swell god, no love lost ock.

Peep video I took below. Some is too bass heavy, and at times the camera shakes, but that's how I dooooos it. I hate recording anyway, but it's a necessary evil. The "Cuffin'" footage is courtesy of xmiltonx.

I Really Mean It

Wet Wipes

Dipset Anthem

Suck it or Not

Cuffin'

Deli 2.0- The Canadian Version- Mile End Brooklyn.

2010-04-03T14:32:00.003-04:00

While I'm not allowed to eat bread and other things during these holy days, I can damn sure write about it and relive those fond starchy memories. 4 days left. It's nothing...

Brooklyn again? Aw yeah, again and again. I'm already peeping the rental listings. One day I'll be singing with Roy Ayers. Yeah, aiiiiiight. Stop it 5.

I love Jewish deli. Unfortunately they are a dwindling breed. Then a beacon of hope was delivered. David Sax's Save the Deli mentioned the introduction of Montreal deli to NYC. I'm on the West side of Brooklyn, looking for a bustdown,... throw my 2 arms up, touchdown!! It was deemed the Best Deli of 2010 from New York Magazine and it was this blurb from NYM that got me hook, line and sinker. I'm a sucker for certain buzz words. "Locavore". "Fresh ingredients." "In-house." I'm too easy. And I quote:

"Mile End, the barely open, instantly overrun Canadian-Brooklyn oddball, has already, in its infancy, reinvented the venerable form. This is a deli for locavores, a deli for the next generation of deli lovers, with a respect for tradition contemporized by a rare premium on great, fresh ingredients, cooked from scratch, smoked and pickled in-house, served with an unfamiliar (in the deli world, anyway) smile."

Last time I was in Montreal, it wasn't for the pastrami. That said, I never experienced this northern smoked meat phenomenon. Personally, if I never ate a pastrami sandwich (or something similar) prepared by somebody not named Katz's I'd be fine. But I'm always down to try something new so I set sail towards Boerum Hill. It was a beautiful day and the idea of eating deli in the park was quite appealing.

Smoked meat and pastrami are different, even though they look fairly similar. From what I can deduce, smoked meat is dry rubbed and cured while pastrami is prepared with a brine and steamed longer. But the argument goes much deeper than that.

Upon first bite of the Smoked Meat sandwich I noticed much stronger hints of pepper and garlic than accustomed to. Far from overbearing, I'm just used to a bit more saltiness. The meat is also drier than a typical NY pastrami sandwich, but that is due in part to the curing and smoking process. I liked it. The rye bread held up, thanks to the lack of excess moistness.

Seeing some extra fat on the meat always favors well in my book. Don't be scared of the fat people, it's all natural. For $8, this sandwich is a bargain. Don't forget about the ingredients, all natural, pastured Creekstone Farms brisket prepared on premises. (Side note- HERE's an interesting article in the Times about Creekstone from 2 weeks ago.) I'd say the bread measures around 5" side to side, so it's not the largest sandwich, but at 2" tall it makes up for the limited reach.

You didn't think I just got 1 sandwich? I never know the next time I'll be back. Up next was the Ruth Wilensky ($7), a salami sandwich pressed on an onion roll with mustard. This too is made with Creekstone Farm- a brisket/short rib blend, hand stuffed, and smoked over oak for 7 hours. Full disclosure, I prefer soft salami to hard, namely Hebrew National. (Fuck your pause). Way more panini-ish than expected and spice out the noodle. For real for real. I wasn't expecting that. This joint brought it. Dry too. But that's how Montreal keeps it. With the smoked meat at least. This didn't do it for How and will not be ordered again.

I couldn't say no to the house cured pickle ($1.50). It's sort of a necessity when getting biz with a deli sandwich. It wasn't sliced, which would have been preferred, but good nonetheless. This was moist. And crisp. Not as strong as a sour, tougher than a half sour. Let's call it the 75%er.

Where's the Dr. Brown you ask? Come on bredren, this ain't Deli 101. We in 2.0 Beta version fams. Slight Bizarro deli. But Mile End doesn't wander too far from the blueprint and hits you with the Virgil's natural Black Cherry Cream Soda ($2.50). Micro brewed with black cherry and vanilla beans. What did I tell you about using that fancy language. I'm powerless. They also offer root beer and cream.

I love what they're doing here. Even though I was 1 for 2 with their wares, I'll most definitely be back to try the other options off the very limited menu. I really want to try the turkey sandwich. And I don't even like turkey. A friend of mine lives fairly close and has eaten there several times in their short existence. I trust him. Be aware that breakfast and lunch follow very strict time frames. 8am till noon is breakfast items, Montreal bagels, lox (wild king salmon!!), etc. B'fast will be tough before I catch that sublet. At noon the big boys come out and are usually depleted by 4pm. The place is fairly small with limited seating and a counter table. Friendly service. But it's Canadian so you knew that.

Mile End
97A Hoyt Street
Brooklyn, NY 11217
718-852-7510
www.mileendbrooklyn.com
Mon - Fri 8 am - 4 pm (call for food availability)
Sat - Sun 10 am - 4 pm
Subway:
F, G to Bergen
A, C, G to Hoyt-Schermerhorn
2, 3 to Hoyt

HowfreshEats: "I Had Intimate Relations With Pies -N-Thighs."

2010-03-24T14:06:00.002-04:00

Even in the throes of this confession I found myself sitting in one of the stools on a mid week night. I had to get it out of my system one last time. Thank goodness this chicken don't text. Tiger knows.

It's true. I can't dispute the evidence. Those thick thighs and sweet pies made me stray. I was in Williamsburg 3 days in a row from March 5 through the 7th. Not too deep in the Burg, close enough that an escape via the Bridge was easy money. That escape route is necessary. At first it was harmless. Just a meal with with the boys before a night out in the Planet of BK. It made sense. Party in BK, so might as well grub in BK. But I had no clue what I was entering. For the record, I have no regrets. Yeah, I said it.

Before closing their doors back in January of 2008 Pies-N-Thighs achieved mythical status. Apparently this was the go-to for southern food up north. A year and a half later members of the PnT team set up shop at Roberta's in Bushwick slinging fried chicken out the back door. Finally in early March of this year, they reopened in the shadows of the bridge. I had the Willyburg boycott on heavy rotation for years so it was all a dream. But I matured and sanctions were lifted so I made it my business to venture southeast towards the Hipster Hamlet. Don't tell that to Bushwick.

It was all about the fried chicken. Everything I read said Big Tings! Having just completed an independent study at Charles' Country Pan Fried Chicken I was eager to see how PnT measured up. I'm here to enter the world of fried chicken academia. Got to pay to play baby.

Aside from seeing some flannels, facial hair and keds I didn't know what to expect. I figured there would be a line but it wasn't bad- maybe 10-15 deep. We were told to order our food and then we would be given a table once some jerks went to go play Buck Hunter. Damn How, easy with the vitriol. Good vibes baby, good vibes. The front room was packed so we thought the wait would be long, but were told there was seating in the back. Drinks and pies were handed over upon payment and hot food was delivered to the table. All food is made to order.

Got a table in the back and waited for the food to be served. Took at least 15 minutes to get the grub. Relatively speaking, 15 minutes isn't bad. I think I might have expected things to move quicker, but you live and learn. This was uncharted territory. All good, now I know what to expect. And you do too. Truth be told I was starving and it was tough not to go in on the pie in front of me (banana cream) as well as finish the sweet tea and beer.

I ordered the fried chicken box- 3 pieces of chicken (2 legs and a thigh), 1 side (mac n cheese), and a biscuit ($10). 2 hefty, meaty legs with the thigh to match. Let me say, YOOOOOO. If you know me you get it. If you don't, then YOOOO. This is some serious fried chicken. Crunchy and crispy shell, extremely moist meat and flavor in every bite. Topped off with sea salt flakes. It looked good and tasted better. Delicious. Anybody can make a mean dredge. It's what happens after that, that determines fair or fowl. PnT knows what they're doing. That first bite said it all. The future visits were already in the books. The tarot cards read more trips to BK. The mac n cheese was fine. Not baked, more like the Kraft kind. But that's my shit. If you're a baked mnc snob, you might be disappointed. Speaking of disappointment, let's discuss the biscuit. Mine was cold and partially raw. The only negative from the entire meal. The cornbread more than made up for it. But the chicken, oh the chicken. BK Bowl has nothing on it. WORD IS BOND.

In order to smorgasbord it, we strategized. One dude got the fried catfish box ($10)and another got the pulled pork sandwich box ($10). The 4th cat hates eating. I know, a shame. Good dude though. The catfish box consisted of 2 generous sized fillets with 1 side (black eyed peas), a block of cornbread, cole slaw, slices of pickle and a small puddle of homemade tartar sauce. I should be clear that it's all homemade. The catfish was banging. Lightly fried in a thin layer of cornmeal, the fish was extremely flaky and moist. Catfish isn't overpowering, well shouldn't be at least, and here was no exception. Very mild. The dill heavy tartar with the fish made for some very enjoyable eating. The black eyed peas were served cold, caught me off guard at first but decent. Rich and smoky. Didn't try the pulled pork but the way it disappeared with the quickness I'd say it was pretty good. Homeboy gave the nod of approval and proceeded to sip some White Rascal.

So we've handled our business and just shooting the shit letting everything digest when I hear the waitress come through the door and scream my name. Say my name, say my name... Apparently some extra food was ordered and the lovely PnT ladies thought we would appreciate it. You damn right. She brought over 2 plates- 1 catfish box with baked beans and 2 extra sides, mac n cheese and cole slaw. Mind you, we still had pie. Fuck that- we fat fucking it. But it's fish so it's light- right? What more is there to say. As if the chicken wasn't enough to put a ring on it (heavy with the Beyonce today), free food?? I'm smitten. I'll paint toenails. Braid hair. Whatever.

So it's a done deal that I'm heading back on Saturday. Not even a question. My boy was visiting from DC and he was trying to get his BK Trini bake and doubles on (I'll reserve that for a later post) so BK made sense. I'm all about slaying 2 birdies with one stone and that's how it went down. The game plan was fish and grits. Mornings was fish and grits ($9). Jada fucks with hash browns, this is how I gets down. But you don't understand. It was ALL about the fish and grits. Grits are hard to come by in NYC, but if I could order them at any diner/spot in the city instead of potatoes, best believe I would. As my pops says, FDP.

Threw an over medium egg on top just for GP. Breakfast without an egg might as well be lunch. Same applies to brunch. A little non-spicy tomato salsa on top brought some sweetness. I've already told you the fish was on point. And I just expressed my affinity for grits. That leads to quite the enjoyable dining experience. Though I was full and about to get my salt bake and phoulourie on, pie was a necessity. I refuse to travel far and wide and not slice it up. Coconut cream just because.

Brunch and dinner were conquered. A 3rd trip wasn't necessary. But then it happened. Sunday morning and spring came early. I was experiencing sun retardation. Not as in being slow, but as in poor judgment was all around me. Coffee'd up and copping fitteds, shirts, jeans. Life was motherfucking good. Jonesing for a Russ & Daughters bagel and lox. LESed it to find out half of NYC had the same idea. Line was out the door. Took a number and the thoughts started thinking. I'm downtown. Close to the bridges that connect Brooklyn. One of those bridges is the Williamsburg. Williamsburg is the home of Pies-N-Thighs. Need I go on?? The mind of a maniac. Not one that causes harm to others, just to himself. Someone help me. Please.

The image of the brunch menu popped up in the mentals. Banana short stack (#6). Fried chicken. Sweet. Savory. Etch that shit in stone. All systems go. Line was longer than I would have liked but I endured. Got the corner stool by the window in the back room. The french doors were open and the sunlight was shining bright. Rays hit the kid on some biblical shit. I was holding court in the corner. Excuse me miss, more coffee please.

Fun fact about the kid, I hate condiments. Condoms too. Hate babies more though. And hivs more than that. But I digress. Point is, I don't need maple syrup on pancakes or waffles, ketchup on a burger, etc. I let the ingredients shine. These banana pancakes illuminated. I was warm on all sides. Solar on one side, banana flap jacks on the other. Hold up- I used a little butter, just to lubricate. Them dry joints can pop early. Just sticking with the theme. Safe sex and banana pancakes. Ya dig?? The combo was better than any bagel and lox sandwich. There was some sort of bliss going on.

One would think that 3 days between Pies and Thighs (legs are more like it) would have satiated my desires. And I was doing well. Close to 2 weeks passed. No need to hit BK. Had a lobster roll here, a burger there. I was diversifying. Then the nice weather hit again and I'm on the Brooklyn Bridge, via foot, touristing it the fuck up. Photos on the span. Camera on the hip. "Wait, is that the Statue of Liberty?" Bikers screaming at me for not following the rules. Go fuck yourselves. Smiling. I was fucking smiling. I'm always mean-mug status, but this day I was cheesing. As if I arrived in JFK earlier that day from Anyplace, USA.

PnT wasn't on my mind. The Atlantic Chip Shop was but once I was there I figured the G train wasn't too far away. Fast forward I find myself walking down Broadway heading towards the hallowed ground on 4th & Driggs. Dapped my Hasid fam and kept it moving. I told them the food was Kosher style but they still reneged. I lied. Forgive me.

Line was short. Fried chicken box was on the agenda and then I see wings on the menu. Wasn't even a question. Got a stool in the back and waited for the grub. Met a nice local and we chatted it up. A recovering vegetarian mind you. 1 for the carnivores. She was eating the wings so I figured she was good money. And she didn't take any offense to my W'burg bashing. Sorry.

Wings were delicious ($5 for 6). Medium sized with a great crunchy exterior. Nice dosage of heat, but not tear-status. Frank's hot sauce? Possibly. Nice chunky blue cheese on the side. I was feeling good.

The fried chicken box with biscuit appeared next accompanied by a side of collard greens with smoked pork ($10). Yes, yes, and yes. The biscuit was better this time, baked all the way through. Greens were rich. Very rich. Cooked through, no stringiness, with some kick. Huge tender chunks of pork sitting atop money growing like grass with the mass appeal. I had super big eyes for this meal. Tarsier big. After trekking for miles around BK the appetite should have been major. I did my best. Knocked off close to everything with exceptions of half the greens and part of a chicken breast. I can do better, I know I can.

Being one not to mix savory and sweet on the plate, I will perpetuate that way of thought here. A pie post will be coming shortly. Believe me when I say I've eaten enough of their baked goodies to give more than ample feedback. Seriously though, after seeing all the lovely images above with witty and insightful commentary, what more do you need to go? Do you have no pulse? No tongue? No teeth? Then just go for the aromas. That good shit. Half a block away you know something special is on the horizon.

Oh yeah, the sweet tea ($2.50) is some of the best in the city. Breakfast, lunch and dinner you cannot go wrong. You can only go right. Very right. Put that Weezy, Jeezy and Drizzy on and enter Pies N Theezy...I'm going in, I'm going in...

Pies-N-Thighs
166 South 4th St. at Driggs
Brooklyn, NY 11211
347-529-6090
Monday through Friday
Breakfast 8-11
Lunch 11-4
Dinner 5-12
Saturday & Sunday
Brunch 10-4
Dinner 5-12
CLOSED EVERY DAY FROM 4PM TO 5PM.
www.piesnthighs.com

H is for Holy Grail Pt. 2.

2010-03-15T00:31:00.003-04:00

The Holy Grail. We're discussing some biblical shit here. The kind of stuff that makes man slay thy neighbor. Sacred shit. Heavy shit. So when somebody says they found a grail, best believe it was no small occurrence. Pangea continental drift status. THAT LARGE.

Ahhh, if only that was the case for me. This wasn't like the most recent Holy Grail I acquired. No speaking in tongues. No hyperventilation. It was pretty anticlimactic. Copping Wildwoods is business for me. I'm here to achieve world domination. Don't get me wrong, these shits are dope. Super Dope. Nice & Smooth Dope on a Rope steezo. Peep that for all my freestyle TKA heads. Maybe once I rock them I'll experience that euphoria.

Most grails have been sought after for years. That shoe you remember as a kid. The one you beat the shit out of or one you couldn't afford. Not this one. It hasn't been on the hit list for 10 years. Not 5, not 4, not 3, not even 2. Just a little more than a year. So how can that be a holy grail? The ultimate find. Fuck the semantics, this was love at first sight. Only 2 stores in NYC sold them- 21 Mercer and DQM, and I was late to the dinner table. No food for How. Ebay and I did a dance with them. They appeared, they hid, and so on. I was getting tired of this tango. So when I saw them most recently I administered the head lock immediately. And they cost me half of retail ($110). I love loving kicks that are off the radar.

What we have here are some Nike Air Wildwood Supremes in buttery black leather. Add a little canvas to the uppers, a flannel-like pinstripe lining, and some 3M to reflect, and you my friend have some like Delta everyday we fly shit on your doggies. Yes, that is a Cam line. You already know. The colorway reads Black/Black- Sail- Olive Khaki, style # 329890 001. These feature a white contrast stitch, something I'm usually not a fan of. Truth is I really didn't notice that until I had them in my hand. But when I've seen these on feet, which is extremely seldom, all I see is flavs. Big shout to Surfer Dave for shedding the light. On a side note, Wildwoods never cost more than $82 until recently. Now they throw that Supreme tag on the label and charge $20 more. Whatevs. I'll cop, but come on now.

This hat might even be grail status. That would be if I knew it existed before I saw it. Perfection. Burgundy, maroon, whichever color you prefer. Somebody please explain the difference. Seeing this really excited me. Like really. Since when did House of Fitteds aka 4-U on Allerton and White Plains carry Negro League caps, let alone a Hilldale Giants cap?? Several years prior I copped the exact hat in navy at the Mitchell & Ness store in Philly. I was pretty positive that would be the last time I'd ever see one. New Era rarely does Negro League caps which is a shame because some of the logos are real clean.

The back has the Negro League logo. White New Era flag on the left side and that's all she wrote. That's all she needed to write. Simple. The Hilldale Giants played outside of Philadelphia from 1910-1932, meaning this year would be their 100th anniversary. Let's celebrate.

EXPOSED: HowfreshEats' 3 Day Love Affair with Pies-N-Thighs.

2010-03-11T17:22:00.003-05:00

In Williamsburg of all places.

Leave me alone, let me just live my life...

The same goes for shorty in the Uggs.

This "alleged" affair was said to have taken place over the 3 day period from Friday, March 5th to Sunday March 7th. It wasn't me. Shaggy!!

I have no comment at the moment. My attorney is mulling over this so-called "evidence" and will issue a statement at the appropriate time.

Charles', it's all hyperbole. You're still #1. I was just fucking them hoes, I was gonna get right back...

DAY 1:

DAY 2:

DAY 3:

Bao Wao Wao Yippy Yo Yippy Yay to the Pork- Baohaus in the LES.

2010-03-05T11:42:00.003-05:00

Funkdoobiest- Bow Wow Wow

Fuck it. I give up. Back to back posts and no breaking of virginal ground. I want to plant the flag on Mt. Howfreezy, beat my chest and scream to the world that I've done it yet again. Instead I wave the white handkerchief. Is Howfresh becoming your garden variety food blogger? Uh oh. Not as long as the fitted is a bit too big for the dome. I just can't compete with Sifton & Crew at the Times. They beat me with Charles' Country Pan Fried Chicken and I continue to ride coattails with Baohaus. I'll just have to accept sheep status. "Who's the white sheep? How's the white sheep!!" Wait. White?? Baaa baaa. I had intentions of writing this long winded piece about animal sounds, but instead I'll let the skit speak for itself. An HFE post without a Cam reference? Never. Underrated rap on an underrated blog. Shit is pure laughter. A little comic relief. We can laugh right?

Cam'ron - I'm a Chicken Head (Skit)

I'm no pork bun veteran. Fairly new to the swine hot pocket, but based on the caliber of bun I've experienced, I'm confident in my skills to deem Who's Real?? Who's Fake?? Between Ippudo and Momofuku I've eaten a trough's worth of pork belly- delicious, traife, fatty, rich pork belly. So I give Eddie Huang some credit for posting up in the thick of things. Blue Momo Magic got the streets sprung, but he says fuck that and introduces Bao Wao to lower NYC. He's a baod man. The junkies (foodies, bloggers, et al.) are bugging. In fact, this shit is so strong my boy in San Fran got a whiff and kept bugging me to hit it. "Yo How, you got to get some bao. Come on dude. Let me now how it is. Dude just go. Please. Shit looks mean." Dude was open- Bubbles status. Seems as though he's not alone. During my trip there was a line and steady stream of custees the entire time. And they had to open 2 hours later on Monday after exhausting their meat supply during the weekend. Needed that re-up fams but papi was busy getting a Monday morning pedicure.

Don't get it twisted, I'm no pork bun snob. I didn't venture into the baowels of the LES with a chip on my shoulder. I was genuinely excited about this new addition to the pork bun scene. I liked the fact that Eddie Huang was into energy efficient forms of cooking and ingredients that were treated well prior to meeting their maker. He doesn't take himself too seriously as is evident by the Fresh Off The Boat theme. The scans are of stickers available at the store. He has gone so far as to label menu items Straight and Royal Frush. Yes, that is funny. Raugh out roud status? I didn't say it, he did. Dude's also a hip hop head so I knew I'd catch some decent theme music. Speaking of which, I had the Funkdoobiest lyrics floating through the mentals and knew a post was on the horizon. I'm back on my grind doggies.

The menu is limited. Quality before quantity. If your stable of hoes is buttahface status, what does really mean? 3 types of Taiwanese Gua Bao aka steamed buns- steak ($4.50), pork ($4.00) and tofu ($3.50), sweet bao fries (fried dough) and boiled peanuts. Along with several beverages. There is a beef noodle soup similar to a pho that's available on weekdays. It was a Saturday so no go. I ordered the pork (Chairman Bao) and the seldom seen steak (Haus Bao).

Not just any pork, but all natural Niman Ranch Pork Belly braised slow, as the menu says, served with cilantro, Haus Relish (pickled mustard greens), and Taiwanese red sugar. Crushed peanuts also come with, but I go peanutless. The NY Times delves even further into the cooking method, "The pork is flash-fried, and then simmered in rice wine, soy sauce, rock sugar, ginger and star anise — a technique called “red cooking” in Mandarin — plus cherry Coca-Cola." 2 slices of tender pork belly about an inch thick in a fluffy white bun. The first thing that caught me was the cilantro. I've never seen this on a pork bun before, but being a self-proclaimed cilantro fan, it was a great addition. It enhanced the semi-sweet pork and added a little aroma therapy. Ghostface in the background and we were bordering on a zen-like experience. But the corny cat across from me talking about strippers with C-section scars killed my tranquilo. First off, you're lying. Second, the girl with you wasn't impressed, and third, neither was I. Didn't your mother ever teach you about dinner table etiquette?

The steak bao made with Certified Angus skirtsteak left me confused. Red cooked like the pork, but laced. Cooley baos?? Wooly baos?? Moutai is added, chinese firewater as Huang says, known to be as strong as 100 Proof. No complaints with the texture- tender stringy steak with cilantro and the haus relish. But it reminded me of brisket. And I'm not used to that being sweet. I prefer savory to sweet when it comes to steak. This isn't to say it's not good, just not my thing. I might be alone in this opinion since the Haus Bao will be featured on Food Network's Ultimate Recipe Showdown sometime this month.

Taiwanese root beer washed it down. For $3, a bit pricey, but none of the other options interested me. Plus I love root beer.

Bauhaus is small. A short flight of stairs leads you into a bustling subterranean space. Seating is very limited and there isn't much room to meander around the diners. A blue island in the middle of the room sits approximately 10 people, 10 small people. My trip consisted of mostly Asian females so it wasn't too tight. No shots. There is a 4 seater against the wall below the window. Each bao is made to order so you will have to wait. Inside, outside, wherever. When they're ready they call you out. Be clear with your name, because I wasn't. Howie Mumbles. If it wasn't for the "H" I wouldn't have known that Harlem or Harley was me. Nah, I call myself Harlem so as not to blow my cover. They start knowing who I am and I get the red carpet treatment.

If you're in the neighborhood I fully recommend a visit for the pork bun. Pre or post game Shopsin's. Heading back from the Doughnut Plant. On your way to Alife. Whatever the reason. Get daown, get daown...

BaoHaus
137 Rivington Street
New York, NY 10002
646-684-3835
CASH ONLY
Sun-Thurs Noon - 10pm
Fri - Sat Noon - 2am
www.baohausnyc.com
F, J, M, Z to Delancey Station (Delancey & Essex)

Like Fried Chicken They Wing it Ock... Charles Country Pan Fried Chicken.

2010-03-02T02:24:00.005-05:00

Cam'ron ft. Vado- La Bomba

Ever since I heard Cam spit his shit I knew it was title material. That time has finally arrived. I'm very proud of this moment. The fact that he's a Harlem native is purely coincidental.

Ideally, I'd be the Marco Polo of this shit. Conquistador status. Cortes really. But that is not the case. This city is just too big. And then there's Brooklyn. Ugh. Luckily many food bloggers don't carry oxygen tanks needed to venture up the hills north of 110th St. (I see you Bill Burr). So I throw on my Moncler with the Christian Dior goggles, hop in my Rossignols and slalom that bitch out. Broadway is cool, but Amsterdam gives me the best workout. And 141st? Shit. Not for the faint of heart. I've broke the sound barrier gliding down that one. Give Alexander Hamilton the nod and keep it moving.

The NY Times beat me to the punch with Charles. But I should thank them for lighting the fire to finally get my ass down there. I remember the row of Charles Southern spots in the same location but never ate there. It was an area I'd drive by en route to the FDR. No other reason. Never hit the Rucker and the Giants left the Polo Grounds more than 50 years ago so no Say Hey. Then they closed. A little less than a year later they reopened with a longer name. 7 syllables. For purposes of making things easier I'm just using Charles.

I feel like a true reviewer with this one. I've eaten here 6 times over the last 3 or so months and have been able to try the bulk of their buffet menu. So one could say I'm an expert. But this isn't about me, it's about Charles. Not true, it is about me. About me eating great food and putting on the poundage. Come summertime I'll have to walk here just to warrant the beasting. Tan and svelt in the summer. You know my steez. Speaking of which, let's pray for a safe and speedy recovery for Guru from Gang Starr. He and Premier are responsible for a large majority of my theme music from my teens to the present. A legend. Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal.

Enough filibustering. Time to address the bizness. The fried chicken. Cue the singing angels. The best I've had in the 5 boroughs. Better than Momofuku, Blue Ribbon, Amy Ruth's, Redhead, etc. Georgia's Eastside BBQ poses the biggest threat, but Charles takes the cake. There's a reason that Charles has been snagged up by downtown restaurants to do what he does. Patroon in the East 40s signed him up for Fried Chicken Fridays. I know it's not an apples to apples comparison, but if I said you could get 3 pieces of chicken with 2 sides and banana pudding for $25, or all the chicken, sides and banana pudding, with a drink for $13.99, which would you choose? Reminds me of the baby bull joke. Buck, I see you. It's simple mathematics, you gotta love it...

TIME OUT. Due to the recent demands for stricter disclosure requirements by the F.T.C., it's a must that I come clean. Legs are my favorite part of the chicken, aka the polke. Easy to eat, no silverware needed and a 1 handed act. I can multitask with the leg (you know, get my twitter or bbm on). As a youngin, I loved the breast. The nice supple white breast. Now I like tan legs. Go figure. With that said, I have tried the breast, the thigh, wings, etc., but the leg is where my opinions derive from. You might say, "But wait, there is less meat on the leg, so how do I know the breast, a thicker cut of meat, will absorb the same flavors and be as moist?" Good question. Answer, "Motherfucker, because I said so." I tried the breast just so that I could retort to this nonsense. No difference. Just as delicious.

Every bite incorporates the following elements: crispy, juicy, and most importantly FLAVORFUL. Ideally, you want the chicken fresh out the frying pan, but even those pieces that have been sitting in the hotbox for 30 plus minutes are delicious. None of that first bite POW to trick the mouth into thinking there's mad flavor followed by a bland finish. From the shell to the bone (huh???) the flavors emanate. A lovely golden brown exterior, some with more skin crispies than others. Those cute old chickens with extra flab. My favorite. The Times says it's not that greasy, but I don't believe you, you need more people. Let's be serious though, greaseless fried chicken is too futuristic a concept. Grease is part of the game. I wouldn't say Charles' chicken drips that juice, but don't try to use your phone, especially the ball on your blackberry before wiping your fingers. Believe that.

As the restaurant's name says, the chicken is pan fried. In the Times' article Dave Cook provides the details of the no longer top secret 3 step process. So poetic:

"Mr. Gabriel raises the bar further by adding seasoning at three stages, first through a dry rub that works its effects for a number of hours, then via the egg wash and then in the flour dredge. He fries his birds in soybean oil, in a pan whose size befits a fried-chicken superstar."

Damn, I haven't even addressed the sides yet, or the other meat dishes. All this choking the chicken, pollo petting, fowl fucking, etc. and we're not even there yet. The sides deserve a post of their own. Let's see. The mac & cheese, black eyed peas, collard greens, okra stew with corn and tomato, sauteed cabbage, yams, white rice, green beans, and potato salad. Did you say potato salad? Why yes I did. Yoooooooo. I mean yooooo. Wow. That good. Take it easy How, one step at a time. My spud fetish is getting a bit weird.

Each time I've eaten there the mac & cheese is usually the first thing put on the plate, the kind that is sectioned off, hot lunch status. That yellow is so appealing. Yellow is though- right? I know you stare at that yellow Lambo too. Does things to my brain. And this is where I go wrong. This ish is mad filling. That's a rookie move, yet I make it each time. Cheesy, rich and firm. A little hot sauce and I'm ditty bopping up for plate 2. Next up I usually throw some greens on the plate. Not sure if smoked turkey or swine is used to enhance the dish, but a small scoop provides all the salt I need. To offset the salt the okra stew is next. The sweetness of the corn and tomato paired with the okra offers a quick respite from the heavy dishes surrounding it. The yams are usually on the second plate. Too much starch to mix it with the mac & cheese. Smooth though- close to a puree, and sweet. Might throw some black eyed peas in the mix for a little earthiness, bring that sweet down. Cause we haven't even had dessert yet.

Aw man. Potato salad with hard boiled eggs in a mustard based sauce. Delicious. Heavy but refreshing. The texture, the taste. So simple yet so palatable. This has run out several times when I've been there and I never saw a re-up, so go in early and go in heavy. Possibly the best potato salad I've eaten aside from Bunk's in Portland. PDX- what's popping?

Damn, this is a long meal. Or just a long post. I'm wondering how the fuck I even make it to dessert. Then I remember the made from scratch banana pudding, and a small area in the stomach makes room for further ingestion. Vanilla wafers and sliced banana piled atop each other in a pool of vanilla pudding. Not overbearing, just pleasantly sweet. A great finale piece.

Being that the fried chicken is the pièce de résistance, I don't deem it necessary to go in on the other meat dishes. What??? The fried chix isn't enough? Bunch of jackals. I'll humor you anyway. Baked chicken, BBQ pork ribs, fried whiting (need to have hot), and various other pork and beef dishes are available on the daily. The smothered turkey wings are pretty good too. Though it seems like a lot of work for a little food. Tell 'em Ghost, baked macaroni, turkey wings, a ni... Whoa, easy killa.

The dinner buffet will run you $13.99 ($15.16 after tax)- lunch buffet runs from noon till 4pm and costs $10.99- and that includes unlimited food, sweet tea or lemonade and banana pudding. I am a slow eater and not once have I ever felt rushed. You don't need to do AYCE, you can also choose chicken and 2 sides for around $10. There are 6 tables, most 4 seaters, some 2. From what I've seen most business is takeout. The friendly service is comprised of Charles' younger relatives, always refilling your drink and removing empty plates. Weekdays they close at 11 and weekends they can stay open till 3 am. If you're lucky you might see Charles. Be sure to have a whole chicken available for an autograph. This dude is a first ballot Fried Chicken Hall of Famer. Utensils are paper and plastic, so if you're super green, get over it. Speaking of green, the vegetarians might be able to get by with most sides. Aside from the greens, I'm not sure what else is cooked in some sort of animal product. Might be some, might be none. Believe it's none. If I'm wrong, I apologize. A little mylanta will cure that tummy ache. As I leave the podium let me finish with these words of advice. When you walk in assess the situation (no Jersey Shore). Is the chicken count low? Is the mac & cheese almost out? Chances are they will be replenishing shortly so strategize wisely.

Charles Country Pan Fried Chicken
2839-2841 Frederick Douglass Blvd. (8th Ave) between 151st & 152nd Sts.
New York, NY 10039
212-281-1800
Breakfast 8am-Noon
Lunch Buffet Noon - 4pm
Dinner Buffet 4pm - 11pm Weekdays, At least 1am on Weekends - Call for hours
They now accept credit cards.
B, D to 155th St. & 8th Ave.
A, B, C, D to 145th & St. Nick- nice little walk (perfect for post meal)
3 to 148th St & Lenox Ave.

Below is the most recent menu from mid February.

H is for Hoo Dat?!?!?

2010-02-20T21:04:00.002-05:00

Hoo Dat!! Who Dat!! What's the difference? Really. Tomato, tomahto. Might as well be H is for How late?? Too late. A little black and gold for the N'awlins famo. Had to support a great city. Was there in 2000 for Mardi Gras and I really don't remember much, but I know we had a good time. Drinking apple Boon's (Ghostface would be proud) outside the Boot at 11 am. It doesn't get any better. Plus do you really think I'd root for an Indiana team? You my friend must be bugging. As in "shall we daaaaaaaance" bugging. That's how I was taught the term back in 7th grade by my classmate Jersen. I must say that in hindsight, his example was spot on, though at the time I thought HE was bugging.

Yes, the hat is fly. Thank you. There's really no denying it. Shine blocker status for the H-aters. Ooooooweeee. Black sheen with the gold stitch Olde English H and majestic purple trim. Fuck a Saint, I'm a king in this shit. Crown Royal on the rocks please. 2 cubes.

And the Egyptian silk lining??? Seriously? Hawaiian flag Hermes scarves covering the cranium. It's that crazy. "H is for High sadity" is more like it. A Fitted Hawaii exclusive and probably the most expensive cap I ever copped. "A man's wealth is determined by his headwear," as muttered by Howfresh on February 18, 2010. This cross country and then some shipping is not a good look for my carbon footprint. Need to work on that. Strap a waterproof pack to a humpback whale as he's about to migrate east. I'd prefer a Panama Canal crossing, but if he chooses the Chile and Argentine scenic route, who am I to tell a whale how to swim?

H is also for HSIFWARC. While we're bigging up N'awlins it's an appropriate time to pay homage to one of my favorite things- crawfish. I'll admit that they've been few and far between this season. Had them only once in fact. At Mara's of course. Shipments have been sparse since the weather's been a bit too cold down south. The mudbugs stay bugging in the mud. Might need to plant some up in Inwood Park just so that I won't be lying when I brag about my locavore lifestyle. Yeah, I love this planet more than you.

So let's take a stroll down memory lane. It's May 24, 2009 we're on the east side- 23rd and the FDR- Solar 1 (the City’s first solar-powered “Green Energy, Arts, and Education Center,”) and the boil is boiling. The official 2009 Crawfish NY NOLA boil. $60 beans for Six Point kegs and all the crawdoggies one could dream of. Believe it or not- this glustacean resulted in No Mas status. The white flag had to be raised. Pinching, twisting, sucking, and chomping had to come to an end.

In total 4 heaping table loads of the delectable fresh water treat were delivered by the time the sun set. Some with corn and potatoes, other had potatoes and sausage. Mushrooms, garlic and onions were also part of the mix. The combos were endless. Factorial that shit and let me know the math. When people saw we were potatoed up they tried to swipe a spud, but we weren't having that. Get your own fucking potato.

Just mad fun- social even if you're Hermit the Crab. See how we stick to H's and shellfish. Keep up with me. Don't get dusted. Wound up meeting some good peoples that turned out to be fellow Partners in Grub. P.I.G. status. Don't judge them by their offensive t-shirts. They mean well. And mad Asians- they love crustaceans. For realz. Gnawing on the tiny claws to get out any ounce of meat. I have since incorporated that into my own playbook, so good looks.

Jackpot.

Crawfish Carnage in all its glory.

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 8- The Road Trip Edition.

2010-02-05T02:21:00.002-05:00

Ocho Chippo up in this bitch. Having tapped out all local tuber sources I needed to hit the road in search of more fried taters. You think I travel cause it's fun or relaxing?? Never that. Always an agenda. What we have here are 6 samples of chips west of the Mississippi. There was a bag of chips purchased in Pittsburgh- Giant Eagle I believe, but there was a BBQ going on and I couldn't go empty handed. I wish there could be more representation here, but we'll make due. Chips were purchased in Montana and Iowa, one of those 3 shitty states in a row that start with the letter "I". This time around I included images of the ingredients rather than comment on them. It's just the natural progression of things. I've already started to amass a lineup for Vol. 9 so stay tuned.

You can check out the previous 7 "Stack (Potato) Chips..." installments here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, and Vol. 7.

Tim's Cascade Style Sea Salt & Vinegar Extra Thick & Crunchy

A mid-sized chip with nice crunch. Too sweet and salty however. Fingers look like you dipped them in a salt shaker. Caught a brief case of agita (Jersey Shersey up in here) after a couple. Doable in small doses but too intense after a bunch. Too many bent chips for my liking. Sweet aftertaste reminiscent of pie crust. Based out of Algona, WA, Tim's seems to do the right thing by both their employees and the environment. Peep more HERE. 8oz for $2.99.

Hawaiian Kettle Style Terriyaki Crispy & Crunchy

Terriyaki? Not in the least bit. More like sweet BBQ. This is out of my comfort zone but sometimes you need to try new things. The sweet makes sense since pineapples are all over the bag. Similar to the previous chip, bite-sized with a nice crunch. If you like those hokey type weird chips, you might dig this. These are part of the Hawaiian line under the Tim's umbrella.

Tim's Cascade Style Wasabi Extra Thick & Crunchy

Does it really matter how these taste when you're dipping your dogs in the Great Pacific? Stinson Beach, stand up.

I ate these months back so my recollection might be a bit weak. It was my beach bum summer days so you know I enjoyed them. Again, a nice sized chip with a strong crunch. That wasabi hits the nasals like wasabi does. Need to eat in doses. OD might be OD.

I'd like to take this time out to thank the following for providing the material in the second half of this post. Iowa's own Hiland Chips available at your local Kum & Go.
Pause.

Hiland Kettle Cooked Dill Pickles

Listen, I was in Iowa. What do you want from me? Maybe I was missing a Katz pastrami out in the great midwest and needed a reminder. First off, dill pickles are nowhere to be found in the ingredients. Neither is a pickle. And neither is dill. Those green specs on the chips are Parsley. I fucking hate parsley. Damn Iowans, get your shit straight. Majority bite-sized, yet thinner than most kettle cooked chips. Decent crunch. Off-putting after taste. Never again.

Hiland Kettle Cooked Salt & Pepper

Cardboardy. Way too much pepper, as is evident by looking above. Some chips were saltier than others. Tiny chips with minor crunch. Dare I say these might have tasted better with more ingredients, namely preservatives.

Hiland Kettle Cooked Original

Pretty good chip. Not too salty. Scratch that- super salty after a bunch. Lip numbing salt in fact. Thin chip, as noted before with a decent crunch. Feels like it's going to be a boring chip, but ends nicely. Fairly addictive if you can withstand the pain.

I wish the road trip garnered more than this but nope. Just 6 lousy bags of potato chips. I'll have to do it again once summer hits.

H is for Helping Humanity.

2010-01-16T15:49:00.003-05:00

Helping Haiti to be more specific. I'm usually light with content, literally and figuratively as of late, but the recent disaster occurring in Haiti has really hit me and I felt compelled to write something. No soapbox, just discussion. Listening to all these interviews on local news from Haitians living in NYC that can't contact their loved ones reminds me of September 11, 2001. My father worked on the corner of Vesey and Church, the northeast corner of the Trade Center and patronized its businesses and facilities on a daily basis. Especially during mornings for his multiple cups of coffee and "fresh air" walks to light up. Following the collapse of the first tower, I frantically called him but couldn't get through. The fear that I lost my father was deeper than any pain I had ever felt. It was visceral. Made me nauseous, helpless. And while I don't know anybody firsthand on the island of Haiti, this feeling has returned. I can only imagine they're experiencing this, but worse.

It's a beautiful thing to see such an outpouring of support for the country. Already more than $10 million via SMS (Short Message Service) texts alone. Text donations are brilliant. Small denominations in volume, and so easy for the user. At times I generally think the masses are cold, heartless, couldn't give a shit about their fellow people, but moments like this renew my faith in humanity. Since Sept. 11, this is not the first disaster to strike. The Tsunami of 2004 and Hurricane Katrina are 2 of the more infamous that come to mind, though fucked up shit happens nearly every day somewhere on planet earth, my place of birth. Those events didn't evoke the same emotional response in me as the current catastrophe, and by looking at the substantial amount of money raised so far, didn't illicit the same reaction in the majority of others. Makes me wonder why. Should I be ashamed that I didn't feel the desperate urge to help before?

What has happened in Haiti has caused me to take a step back and really gauge what's important. Sneakers, fitteds, anything with an H, I love it, but let's be serious, shit isn't that serious. Food, that's another story, need to eat to live. I see something I like, I usually get it. Prior to the quake I was watching several fairly hard to find sneakers on ebay with some low prices. I was ready. Locked and loaded. Then the quake hits and those kicks really weren't a priority. In fact, the idea of spending loot on some egregious purchase, just adding to the columns of boxes, disgusted me. How dare I haphazardly drop cheese when that money could go for such a more worthy cause, people. It's fucking crazy. I could drop $200 on a pair of kicks easy, but the idea of giving just a fraction of that to charity doesn't come as fluidly. Made me feel like a fucking asshole. For real. Talk about a values and priorities check.

Listen, of course I'm not going cold turkey and retiring from the frivolous consumption game. Then I'd have nothing to write about. But maybe I'll be a bit more discerning and aware of the bigger picture. In order to look good, you got to feel clean.

With that, let's make a little transition to lighter fare. What we have here are the first additions of 2010. Both copped @ Cap City in West New York (What up Koo!!). The Astros, orange with a yellow H, button, New Era flag and underbill, navy star and navy bill happened to fit so I copped it, though I prefer the smaller logo. This was augmented a bit. I like my H like I like my titties, natural. Sorry J-Woww.

No need really to discuss the other. The consummate H logo. The Hickory Crawdads. Even though I have one that's basically identical. I can do a separate post strictly on the neurosis of that. Fuck it, we go hard.

H is for Happy Birthday...

2009-12-31T20:34:00.007-05:00

And of course, Happy New Year. Happy Hanukah. Happy Kwanzaa. Happy Pagan Holidays. No Festivus, kind of corndoggish. SHit, I might be able to get 20 H's out tHis bitcH.

2 years and still going. Not with as much fervor as there should be, but we're not dead yet. I feel a pulse. Like a bear hibernating, maybe 1 or 2 breaths per minute, a slower heart rate. Just conserving that energy for the new year. I read somewhere earlier this year that on average most blogs hadn't been updated in 4 months. In that case I'm ahead of the curve, but status quo isn't the aspiration. You don't get yachts and coupes with that. And a G5, forget about it. I mean fugedaboudid for my Jersey Shore fans. J-Woww I see you with them bulletproof boobies. What a slob. But I love her?? Fake titties are for the birds but saline packs catch a bullet on some Leroy shit. Speaking of which, peep the picture below. Sunny and lovely Cleveland. Just one stop on the Summer of Howfresh Tour '09. Maybe I'll discuss it at a further juncture.

There are 20 "H" caps up top. I guess I could have stuttered the Happy Birthday, but that would have been o-o-o-o-o-obnoxious. Then we can blame it on the a-a-a-a-a.... Not that taking a picture of 20 H hats and 1 Howfresh cap isn't, but I wanted everybody to know that I haven't been home with a thumb up my ass, but rather out and about looking for some headwear. Each of these hats deserve their own post, but I'm running out of clever H titles. Time to start adding some silent H's.

I've also been eating. A lot. I'm proud to say that I gained 15-20 pounds this year. Yes LBs, not that fack off British currency. I'm still broke. The brokest blogger you know. Irrelevant though. One thing this blog has taught me to do is eat. And to do so with reckless abandon. Costs too much? Not that healthy? No appetite? Got food in the crib? Fuck it, we're going in. Because at the end of the day I will do a post on it. Unfortunately I've even fooled myself into believing this. In 2010 I'll do a retrospective of my '09 meals. If I forget how it tasted, I'll try to say something amusing to make you think I'm not full of shit. That is the tough thing about recalling events where sensory functions play a huge part. You remember the overall experience, but the tastes, textures, intricacies and so on get a bit muddled. Especially when you're ON TO THE NEXT ONE so soon. I need to hire a full-time memoirist.

What better way to ring in the born day than enjoying some good food and good music. Thanks to Ian @ a Different Kitchen, I scored a pair of tix to the Funk Flex Hip Hop Legends show @ BB King's. Chock full of legends. Large Professor/Main Source, Ed OG, Masta Ace, EPMD, Doug E. Fresh with a very special appearance by Lil' Vicious, Onyx, Ghostface (getting emotional in the red vest), Method Man, and the one group I wanted to see most, Showbiz & AG. Unfortunately I got there after they went on. What part of the game is that?? I hedged that the show would start late and lost. I guess I'll never learn. Show was dope. Energy was craze from both the audience and artists. Method Man was a no show but that didn't dampen my mood. Though there were a lot of long faces in the crowd. Buck up youngin'. Don't you know this hiphop shit breaks hearts??

I'm all over the place. I know. So let me finish this on the most apropos tip, food. Howfresh Eats- right? Precisely. The birthday meal, and crowning meal of the year was provided by Momofuku Ssam on 13th and 2nd Ave. And it sure as shit hit the mark. What we have here are kusshi oysters from Vancouver Island and some Jonah Crab claws. The meal deserves its own post, so I shall provide one. David Chang, hate him or love him, knows what he's doing.

Some footage from the show. A little bass heavy. New Year's Resolution- more treble, less bass. Is that a tits and ass reference? No clue.

Doug E. Fresh- Freaks @ Hip Hop Legends Show @ BB Kings 12/23/09

Ghostface Killah- 4th Chamber / Holla @ Hip Hop Legends Show @ BB Kings 12/23/09

Onyx- Throw Ya Gunz @ Hip Hop Legends Show @ BB Kings 12/23/09

Wack on the Walls but Dope on the Dogs- A Black Friday Fable.

2009-12-02T21:18:00.003-05:00

To be clear, this isn't a fable. There really isn't any moral to be learned. Maybe some behavior to avoid. This is more of a story, a tale. I just wanted maximum alliteration.

You know how it goes. A sneaker gets hyped on the internet. The images look pretty good so you consider the cop. Then you see it in person and think damn, that shit is wack. Doesn't happen that often, seldom in fact, however this is precisely what happened with the Eddie Cruz "West" Nike Air Force 1s. Purple and yellow is my thing- Kobe all day, but the red outsole really freaked me out. I know my style isn't considered "progressive", but red? Shit didn't make any sense.

Store after store these shiny purple joints kept bugging. This is a sneaker that historically I should like sans the patent swoosh. My disdain runs deep. It's an air force. It's a premium air force, it has snake skin, it is purple, it has different stitch on the tongue tag and the O.44 sticky rubber logo is embossed on the heel. The little intricacies I gets downs with. But no, not interested. Not even a second chance. Like they did me dirty and were left to rot. Until I peeped them on feet. I was like, Hold Up!! Wait a minute!! My man Wes, being the astute Nike employee that he is, had them joints on for the ultimate sell. On some, "yeah, I thought they were pretty weak sauce too, but peep now." It worked on me. I'm not sure exactly why, maybe the new perspective of looking down as opposed to eye level. My style's over your head, I enjoy the aerial view. The red wasn't as noticeable and the shiny snakeskin wasn't as overwhelming.

So now they're on the radar, but for $135 not a necessity. Plus I have the purple with yellow LA forces so I'm thinking I'll call these skip. But the textures are different so that thought is thrown at the window. My boy tells me he can get them for $81, so that entices me more, but I'm still not fully convinced. Until Black Friday. When all sense and rationale gets thrown out the window and the lunacy ensues. No, there weren't any fly pony hair jumpoffs this year.

I'm in Goliath when I see the purple piff (not really, but again, my alliteration obsession) on the wall with a 40% off sign, thus making them $81. No longer an eyesore, I grab the joints to do some last minute recon. As I'm holding them, I hear 2 dudes ask for an 11 and 11.5, my size. I didn't even get a chance to make a play on them. Uh oh. Call it territorial, call it mania, attack mode is instantaneously triggered. I run to catch Dee, malt liquor extraordinaire, as he returns from the stock room. Stop him and ask on the humble if that's the last 11.5. For those in the know, an 11.5 is pretty rare, and usually only 1 pair per size run. He nods affirmative. Ask if there are more 11s, he throws up the "3" sign. Seeing I want them he says I got you, hitting me with the box just as Jim Kelly used to place the pigskin in Thurman Thomas' bread basket.

Feeling like I just stole the last Linden's cookie from the cookie jar, I quickly sit on the bench in the back sliding the pair underneath, hiding all evidence. I don't turn around, feeling like I just snaked some dude for his kicks. Dudes make their way towards the back, me thinking I'm going to have a problem. Never that, they just want to know about DQM, so I hit them with the bullet points, they say good looks and leave me be. Do the right foot try on. All signals say go and I'm at the register. Rose bags them (What up Rose!!), AMEX debt increases, and I'm out the door. Once that cool November air hits, waking me from my semi-delirious sneaker blindness, I look at the kicks again and realize why I never liked them in the first place.

Fuck it, what's another pair of kicks? Just another albatross around my neck. Another nail in the coffin. But at least my feets will look oh so fresh.

I've been racking my brain to think of other kicks that might have looked wack upon first glance and then flipped the script on me. I'm coming up blank. However what you see below might fit the bill. Shits offended me on the wall, but after trying them on and feeling the rabbit ass on my toes, yo, I might need them in my life. It's a big step for me though. Hold my hand.

Shake, Rattle & (Insert Crustacean) Roll- Luke's Lobster in the East Village.

2009-11-27T16:02:00.006-05:00

Inexpensive seafood, somewhat of an oxymoron, falls into several categories. 1- Semi-edible inexpensive seafood, proceed with caution. 2- Passable inexpensive seafood is out there, but again, be wary. 3- Tasty inexpensive seafood can be found with a little research. 4- Delicious inexpensive seafood is in your dreams. A fallacy. Until now. Let me introduce you to Luke's Lobster on 7th Street in the East Village. My new go-to for that seafood fix, and open close to midnight 7 days a week. After having just 1 lobster roll, it's amazing how many urges I've needed to temper. I'm talking daily occurrences. Sometimes I'm able to shove them under the rug. Other times I find myself hopping on the 1 to the N,R and walking several blocks just to satiate the jones. Or if the hunger pangs are unbearable I take the helicopter to the Houston and East River landing.

As if it isn't obvious, I love seafood (see header photo). Especially fresh, high quality fruits from the sea. Lobster belts keep the ass from showing. I think it might be time to truly go overboard and make the wardrobe strictly H hats and Polo lobster get-ups. Let me mull it over. When word dropped that Luke's was to open on October 1st, being sourced directly from a Maine seafood processing plant, I nearly lost my shit. Nah, it wasn't that dramatic, but the anticipation brewed. With Mara's Homemade around the corner, the crustacean market was on smash down there, the Crustacean Corridor, Briny Boulevard, Shellfish Street, yeah yeah yeah.

Let's discuss the goods. Luke's offers 3 types of rolls: lobster, crab (Jonah crab), and shrimp. Aware of the quality of their product, they keep ingredients to a minimum and let the seafood shine. No posse is needed on the stage to distract from lack of talent. These motherfuckers shut shit down. Grand opening, grand closing. Damn- my bad. Didn't mean to get all crazy, but this is an accurate depiction of the feelings evoked. Don't hate me, hate Luke's for providing that aquatic crackjuice.

A lightly toasted and buttered New England (booooooo!!) style hot dog bun loaded with 4 oz. of flesh. Ayooo. No mayo, just a pinch of seasoning- oregano, pepper and a couple of other spices I believe. That's it. The seasoning just enhances the sweetness and saltiness of the meat- both lobster and crab. Delicious. I'll admit that 4 oz. doesn't sound like a lot, but the richness makes up for it. Just look at them- the chunks of plump tender claw meat about to jump out of the bun. For the big eater, you might need to double up or add on. At least it will taste good.

Lately I've been going with the crab rolls. The flaky meat is addictive. Plus I just like the way Jonah Crab sounds. No clue why. Biblical maybe? I'm fairly new to the crab carnival. Lobster been my thing for years, but lately I find lobster being too chewy, esp. the tail, and the crab just stunting hard. Having recently experienced fresh king and dungeness crab out west, it's only right I let the Atlantic crabs get some shine. Blue crabs get it in as well, but it takes a lot of work just to get a little morsel.

The crab roll costs $9, 5 beans less than the lobster roll. For now I'll keep our relationship open and keep bouncing back between the 2. Hopefully I won't give the lobster crabs. I had to.

Luke's provides several options so you can try their offerings without ordering a la carte. "A Taste of Maine" consists of a small lobster, crab and shrimp roll (2 oz. each), pair of Empress claws from the Jonah crab, Miss Vickie's Chips, and a Maine Root soda, all for $20. For the Big Willies there is the Noah's Ark, perfect for 2, or 1 starving dude- 2 small rolls of each, 4 claws, 2 chips and 2 sodas for $38. After trying the Taste of Maine I know now not to order the shrimp roll. It's not bad, just nothing near the other 2. Shrimp is easily attainable, the other stuff not so much.

The Empress claws, $5 for 4, are a nice little snack for the crabheads. The perfect accompaniment to the lobster roll. Yeah, the meal might run you $20, but there won't be one regret. You're allowed to have some fun.

The Schooner, the Luke's version of a combo meal include the roll, half a dill pickle, bag of Miss Vickie's chips and a Maine Root soda, an organic and Fair Trade Certified beverage. No HFCS in that bitch. You know how we do. I try to fall back from the fizz, but for these I'll indulge. Root beer, sarsaparilla, ginger, blueberry- joints are no joke. With all this, your appetite should be at bay for a couple of hours.

Kidding aside, please be careful around the stools. Testicle and labia snapping has been known to occur. It's worth risking be labeled as lewd in order to protect the well-being of my readers.

I'll admit that $14 for a sandwich isn't cheap. But look at what you're receiving for that amount, and compare that throughout the city. The value will become evident. My self-control is at an all-time minimum, so the idea of spending doesn't even register, even if wiser judgment says to fall back- but at least I'm smiling while doing so. Plus with every 10 rolls you purchase, the 11th is free. Make sure to keep your "Lobsta Mobsta" card(so The Departed) handy and let the spoils add up. Recently soups and chowders have been added to the repertoire. I'm sure the first of many. Also word is that they're trying to get a liquor license to aid in the consumption of the crustacean. Something to look forward to. And if all this isn't enough, for my locavores, Luke's tells you the particular New England body of water where the daily catch was caught. My inner-hippy is ecstatic.

Props to Antoinette for title inspiration. Wasn't able to find the mp3. Anyone got it?

Luke's Lobster
93 E 7th St.
New York, NY 10009
212.387.8487
www.lukeslobster.com
Sunday-Thursday: 11 am - 11 pm
Friday and Saturday: 11 am - 1 am

Do You Understand How Many 27 is? A lot. Like a Real Lot.

2009-11-06T02:33:00.002-05:00

Are you aware of the effort it took to assemble 27 pieces of Yankee paraphernalia? I mean finding all those fitteds took half a day at least. Better off I'm not working. With that said, now try to imagine the feat of winning not 1, not 5, not 10, not 20, but 27 world titles. Unbelievable.

Back on top. Not necessarily where we belong, but where we like to be. Anybody that's been a Yankees fan since the mid 90's dynasty has a skewed image of what it's like to be a Yankees fan. Don't blame us for thinking we should always be playing in October, and apparently November nowadays. It's just what we're used to. Blame George. Fucking jerk. Stop spending already. How dare you spend money to field a team that has the potential to win. Put a limit on Cashman's spending habits. The man is drunk with luxurious taste. Now let's sign Holliday and Cliff Lee and get it popping.

I'll admit, this win didn't hit me the same as the 1996 to 2000 titles. Those were special, real special. Especially for a kid that saw the miserable 1980s. Andre Robertson, Steve Balboni, Cecilio Guante, Bobby Meacham. The list goes on. Then we're doing it in '94 and the strike hits. And then the grueling loss to the Mariners in '95. Then Torre signs. The guy had a sub .500 record. How could any fan be excited about that? And then the magic happened. And kept happening. I keep seeing Paulie O running in like the maniac he was and diving on the pile up. Not giving a fuck, just full of pure unadulterated joy. This team is too dainty for that? I hope not. Jumping in circles is cool and all, but, you know. Maybe pile ups are outlawed in their contracts.

But when I see Mariano, Jeter, Andy and Jorge holding the trophy it feels great. Looks great too. These dudes are unbelievable. And who knows how many more years we have with them. So we might as well cherish it while it lasts. And let's be honest, beating Philthy made it that much better. Especially with Pedro on the mound. Twice. Even if he was a hired gun, we still beat him and with conviction the second time. And knowing those terrible Philthy fans are stewing and complaining right now puts a smile on my face. I love reading the comments on these Philly sites. And if they hate then let them hate and watch the titles pile up. It's OK J-Roll you can say what you want. You're the better team? Cool with me. When I look in the books and see that the Yankees are the 2009 World Champions that's all that counts. Jimmy, you might have won the May series, I'll give you that. But unfortunately that doesn't constitute WORLD SUPREMACY. I know the frames were rose, but the lenses too? Damn homie, in '08 you were the man homie, what the fuck happened to you??

Parade tomorrow. Let's get the ticker-tape tic toc ticking. I'll be there repping hard. Maybe make out with Kate Hudson just off GP. You never know.

Ballgame over! Yankees win! Theeeeeee Yankees win!

H is for Halloween '09- Heard About the Panda at the Diner?

2009-10-31T19:13:00.002-04:00

So a panda walks into a diner, orders 2 eggs scrambled with bacon and rye toast, and of course coffee with sugar, no milk, pays his bill then pulls out and shoots up the whole place.

As he's leaving somebody asks him, "Yo panda, why'd you do that for?"

Panda replies, "Google me bitch!!" and takes off.

So dude pulls out his blackberry, googles panda and reads...

EATS SHUTES & LEAVES.

KILLED IT. I'm out of here.

Halloween 2009 and pandas are in full effect. Keeping with the black and white theme from last year, skunks, we don't plan on any shootouts, but most definitely some pandemonium. At least we won't hear any terrible "You skunks stink" jeers. Ugh. To dis a panda you need to be somewhat intelligent.

For all the years we've been doing it up for Halloween, this costume is by far the shittiest. 90 beans for a pair of polyester pants (sort of tight), furry top and a massive headpiece. Paw foot covers too. The headpiece is dumb tight, but no turning back now.

Enjoy.

I'll Take a Shitter on the Schmitter aka Zim, This is for You.

2009-10-29T18:49:00.005-04:00

Truth be told the Schmitter is one of the best ballpark food items on the planet. But we're going to ignore that for the time being and rep for my Billy Barou Nachos. A year ago today I had my Ryan Howard jersey shirt on repping for my NL East cohorts. I mean they're the Mets' arch nemesis and I hate the Mets so based on some transitive property thinking it made sense. (Buck I see you) And who were these Devil Rays? Bunch of one hit wonders.

My disdain for the un-lovable losers, last year aside, began on Sunday, May 24, 2009 during the extra innings loss to the Phils at the new Cathedral. A tough loss as Melky tied it up in the bottom 9th only to cough it up in the 11th. Thank you Brett Tomko, enjoy Oakland. Jerk. I heard about Philly fans, (not a Giants fan so indifferent to Eagles fans, until now) but seeing them in person is a completely different animal. And animals they were. A fucking May inter-league game and these dudes (girls too) are acting like it's the biggest day of their life. Bigger than first born status. "Fuck the Yankees" chants and all that. Goatees dyed red, cheesesteak hats, awfulness. And I'm not trying to talk shit behind anybody's back here. Not my thing. Just being objective, as I'm sure these people would agree that they're dirtbags too. I truly understood the degree of disgustingness. Don't even start me on the female Eagles fan in B'more who accosted us following a Yankees v. Orioles game- chick saw the Yankees garb and went into the "E-A-G-L-E-S" chant hardbody. No bullshit, the veins on her neck were trying to escape. Not bad looking either. What a shame.

Don Zimmer we still love you. The way you were face planted by this jheri curled assassin. Unacceptable. We will seek and exact revenge in your honor. Tonight is what everybody's been waiting for. The suspense, the drama. Pedro back in NYC for the first time in 4 years, though his Mets stint doesn't really register. Dude was half-crippled. Game 7 of the '04 ALCS is the real last game. The game that most mattered. A terrible day.

I thought this shirt would never have meaning again (aside from the obvious). With Damon benedicting and joining the greatest franchise ever, Manny out in Lala, and Pedro's invalid status for so long, who would have thought? (We need a Papi, Pedroia, Youkilis and Papelbon shirt ASAP) The baseball gods knew what was coming. And tonight, judgment shall be delivered. It better, because I need me some cheesesteaks, and refuse to spend my loot in Philly if they win. And going back to Philly down 2 is not a good look. Especially with a freshly insulted Cole Hamels being demoted to a 3rd stringer. LET'S GO YANKEES!!! Let's wake the fuck up. Yeah you Tex, come on. A-Rod don't start freaking out and spiral back to previous post-seasons. Not now. Man the fuck up. And Joe, get your shit together. If he's not pitching well, yank him immediately. Let's go boys.

Fuck a schmitter. Fuck a cheesesteak. We rep hard tonight. Moe's Southwest Grill gets busy. And what's Philly's answer to Jiggaman? Schooly D? Ha.

Katz's Deli really needs a stand at the stadium. That would be some real battle royale shit. NYC Pastrami vs. the Philly cheesesteak. Is it even a question?

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 7- The Whole Foods Edition.

2009-10-24T00:35:00.006-04:00

Lucky # 7. Mickey Mantle status. This could and should be 2 posts. 1 for the fried taters, and another for the grand introduction to Whole Foods. My organic/local/slow foods/artisanal cherry has been popped. I thought WF was some crunchy cooperative patchouli scented wierdo fest. Boy was I wrong. This place is an epicurean wonder land. The prepared foods alone would take me a month to conquer. OK, maybe a week. I am ashamed that a man of my stature in the food game is a Whole Foods newbie. It's what I get for judging. And hating. 4 bags were acquired from WF and 2 were purchased at the market across from 21 Mercer, based on the recommendation of some big dog in the sneaker game, gate keeper status. Sneakers and potato chips have more in common than you think. Think about it.

You can check out the previous 6 "Stack (Potato) Chips..." installments here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, and Vol. 6.

Herr's Kettle Cooked Boardwalk Salt & Vinegar

I'll admit, Herr's isn't on my radar. Chip snob? Maybe. Major bite and acidity. A good chip, light and easy to eat. Fairly addictive. Not as thick and crunchy as other "kettle" chips, though more substantial than a bag of Lay's. A little lip swelling after a decent sitting. The vinegar and salt do not play. Never saw chips on a boardwalk, only salt water taffy, but I won't question it. Heavy with the ingredients- lactose, barley flour, sodium diacetate, silicon dioxide (anti-caking agent). Cooked in vegetable oil (corn, cottonseed or soybean). 8.5 oz bag, $3.49.

365 Sea Salt & Vinegar Kettle Cooked

365 is Whole Food's in-house brand. This is the salt & vinegar chip for beginner's. No bite whatsoever. Sweet in fact. Seems like a milder, less acidic cider vinegar. There's a lingering taste that I can't describe- sweet, floral? Something I'm not accustomed to in the pantheon of chipology. Not offensive, just different. 8.5 oz bag, $3.50.

Kettle Brand Jalapeno

Like all Kettle Brand product, a really nice chip. Always crunchy, bite-sized, and packed with flavor. Jalapeno is a newer flavor extension as noted by the red chile ablaze on the bag. A darker chip specked with tiny pieces of parsley, it packs some heat. Nothing unbearable, but if squeamish to some fire, I'd suggest you stay away. Nice blend of salt, spice and sweet. OD on ingredients, however Kettle brand utilizes "wind power, solar power, green building and biodiesel" thus maintaining a small carbon footprint. That's what I'm talking about. 5 oz. bag, $2.50-$3.

Tyrrell's Cider Vinegar & Sea Salt

I had read about these in a foodie mag (hate foodies) so when I saw these on the WF shelf you know I snatched them with the quickness. Does that make me a foodie? Ugh, fuck me. Anyway, these are made in the UK, Herefordshire to be more specific. Similar to the afore mentioned 365 sea salt & vinegar chip, these are very mild, and sweet. A darker potato, these are very dry, i.e. less oil than most chips. Great salt distribution. The first bite gives off sweet followed by a back of tongue saltiness. Listen, it's what I'm feeling. (I imagine a pause is necessary since the words, salt, sweet, tongue, feeling etc. were used) The bag doesn't advertise "kettle cooked" but reads "hand cooked." Thinner than typical kettle cooked, but just as crunchy. Sunflower oil with a variety of other ingredients including vinegar powders, sugar and lemon powders. 5.3 oz. bag, $3.50.

Boulder Canyon Totally Natural

I like my chips just as I like my women, totally natural. Ahh, the lovely Boulder Canyon. They're like that girl that you were really serious with and then things end. You see her years later and it just feels good- things are just where you left off. And then you wonder why it even ended. But there's no need for any serious talk, just enjoy the moment. These chips are great. Quality is unparalleled. Flavorful- the potato is always the star of the show- earthy and salty. Crazy crunch. Very rich, to the point that I get a little heartburn after too many. Heart burn, heart ache? Same shit- see the comparison? 5 0z. bag, $3.

365 Organic Classic Potato Salt & Pepper

Forgive me for this purchase. Not kettle cooked. What was I thinking? Mad brittle and too light, color and feel. But it's organic. Do enjoy the heavy amount of pepper, organic pepper that is. Fuck that, take 2 and pass. 5 oz. bag, $3.

Cease & Desist- the Ari Menthol documentary 7 pm tonight @ Barbes in BK.

2009-10-05T16:56:00.003-04:00

If you're in the NYC tonight be sure to make it out to Barbes in Park Slope to check the screening of Cease & Desist a.k.a. Ari can't talk about it directed by John Carluccio, responsible for treats such as Battle Sounds, Scratch and a variety of other documentaries and shorts ranging from hip hop, to art, to food and so on.

Cease & Desist follows the release of the Ari Menthol sneaker, one of the most hyped releases during the sneaker heyday of 2006. The sneakers had a strong likeness to the Nike Air Force 1, with packaging fairly similar to a pack of Newports. The hype grew, kids waited on lines, legal issues ensued and a creative concept turned into a headache for Ari Forman. Carluccio was there at the release and linked up with Ari years later to discuss the legal quagmire brought on by 2 corporate behemoths. Sneakerhead or not, the film touches on general issues ranging from the creative drive to push the envelope, the fickleness of trends, and the power of corporate America.

Here's a little taste:

This screening is part of the Brooklyn Independent Cinema Series.

Barbés
7 pm
376 9th St (at 6th Ave)
Park Slope, Brooklyn
(718) 965-9177

H is for Holy Grail.

2009-09-25T14:59:00.002-04:00

The hunt is over. For one pair at least. Still a couple more out there, but the white with safety orange trim from 2001 can be removed from the list. I saw it grazing in a valley and BLABOW!!!- blew it's motherfucking brains out. Nah- never that, because then the white would have stained. Just a little arsenic in the grass. A gentle death.

I loved this "pack" when they dropped back in '01. It's not fair to call them a pack because Nike wasn't branding it that way back then, but they would drop very similar kicks within the same time frame. I had the varsity blue and varsity reds. Never had the orange or the reeds- a khaki colorway. The leather on these is quality, and real leather. Lightly rippled and soft. The mesh lining has extra cushioning and provides more comfort than mostly any other AF1 I've worn. The simplicity is the appeal. No need to be loud. Just keep it cool baby, keep it cool. There was a pair on ebay for a while for close to $140 shipped. I must have watched it for a year until one day it was gone. And I kicked myself for weeks. I spend money on such bullshit, but when something I want is within striking distance I fall back. Makes no fucking sense. I guess the thrill of the hunt is the hunt, so by keeping it alive, I perpetuated the adrenaline rush every time I saw them there. Just a little psychoanalysis from your boy How. So when these appeared on the bay right before the Manifest Destiny trip I copped with the quickness.

They are worn. I admit it, I copped a pair of used kicks. But based on the pics and the price ($40 + shipping) I had to do it. The wear looked minimal, and it definitely was, however there is slight yellowing on the right sneaker. From experience I know this happens, especially to pairs from that era, but the pics looked clorox status. A flash can really be misleading. Whatever, I'm happy I have them and I just need to keep my eyes open for a brand new pair.

The fitted could have gotten top billing, but the kicks have an emotional attachment so they won out. But the hat. Tell me it isn't the flavors. I dare you. The good people at Pegasus- what up Juice and Aubrey- blessed the kid with this joint. Was it made for me? Maybe so, maybe no (cue Mayer Hawthorne now). But it was definitely meant to be rocked by me. Hickory Crawdads in a light brown (amber, caramel, mocha??) with an orange bill and button. Black H with the orange mudbug. I have no clue who created this logo- but I want to marry your daughter. No, seriously. Your genius must have seeped into her so our babies will be brilliant. I saw the design sheet for this months back and was expecting a darker brown, but was pleasantly surprised with this. Never had a cap this color and it matches these wildwoods I have to a T (please see below).

And since 1 isn't enough I had to double up. This time with the alternate jumpoff. Again, buttahfingas.

A claw clenching a baseball. Genius?? Apparently. A simple black and white cap is a necessity when you're trying to keep that swag under control. But hold on. This shit glows in the dark, no Kanye. Doesn't work too well though. Need to have it directly under a light bulb for a good minute just to get some illumination.

We're building a nice little family here. All get along. No snapping claws. Harmony.

See? Matching is so 2010. Get your game up.

Howfresh x Ralph Lauren aka HRL.

2009-09-24T18:03:00.003-04:00

Ralph Lauren is the fucking man. After years of letters, phone calls, faxes, door knocks, borderline harassment, etc. I finally have my initials on a Polo hoodie. The official collabo. Shit almost brought me to tears. True story.

I wasn't even trying to cop anything. Just peeping the product following a Giants loss to the Padres. Great pitching, terrible hitting. Hit the San Fran Westfield Center- a dope building with a crazy dome/rotunda that houses mad stores. Bloomies, Nordstrom, fly shit like that. Howfresh loves to spend money. If he sees something he likes, he usually cops. I have no idea why we're 3rd personing it right now. Throw an H on it and you know I'm out the door with it.

I found myself in the Polo section looking for a come-up and BAM!!!! I see this beautiful thing. Red hoodie with a black and white "HRL" stitched on the left breast. Vintage varsity type letters. Wow. What's better than an H? HRL- the kid's initials. I lost my shit. Definite cop. Then the Sales Professional- tell me that shit ain't fancy- hits me with this sales pitch to sign up for a Bloomies card and to tell me about the sale that's going down on Friday, the 11th. Only problem being that it was Wed. and I was hitting the big bird on Friday. He concocts this whole plan to make it happen. Calls at the airport, refunded purchases, etc. I go along with it. Just get me that hoodie. Part of the deal was spending $150 to get an additional amount off plus a discount with the new card. So I snatch this Polo on sale- mad busy with a huge "5" ( I prefer even numbers), settle up and bounce. Did I mention there was a black hoodie too?

So I'm using the lovely Bloomies' restroom. I'm telling you- whenever you have business to attend to, the Bloomies's banos are top notch. Clean, always plentiful in the TP, never busy, and smell nice. You can keep your dignity while dropping doozies. So I'm throwing water on my face to grab that extra oxygen and it dawns on me, "I don't want that shirt. I might as well just hard body that shit and cop the black joint too." So I head back to homeboy and tell him the news. He's psyched cause his commission goes up and I'm glad I didn't piss any loot away on a rather bone shirt. The best part- I reached the higher plateau for the sale so I get 2 hoodies retailing at $145 each for a total of $191 shipped to my door. H. R. motherfucking L.

Plaxico, Step Your Steak Game Up.

2009-09-23T20:24:00.003-04:00

Plaxico didn't do terrible, but he could have done better.

At approximately 3:45 pm yesterday word leaked (twitted actually) that Plaxico's "last supper" meal before getting thrown in the clink was at Del Frisco's steakhouse and consisted of the crab cake appetizer, oysters, shrimp remoulade and a bone-in ribeye. I can dig the 3:1 seafood to land animal ratio. Most steak houses usually carry a decent raw bar so I'm cool with that because otherwise you can't order oysters just anywhere. (The Pacific NW oyster post is in the works so hold tight.)

I'm very pleased with his choice of bone-in rib eye (pause?). But I am disappointed too. NYC is full of steak houses, and while Del Frisco's might be in the upper echelon (I've never been but a friend of mine that wears a diamond pinky ring swears by it), there are much better options for a rib-eye, namely Strip House. Yeah, yeah, I know you're supposed to order the namesake cut, but there are aberrations to the rule and this is clearly one of them.

I had wanted to write about this meal and thanks to Plaxico's poor judgment (twice) I have been given a 2nd chance to relive this fine feast. It all happened on a whim following the Rosenberg Noisemakers event with Q-Tip at 92Y Tribeca close to 5 months ago. It was approximately 10:50 pm and hunger was at the door. My boy was on some fine dining shit so I followed suit. Mary's Fish Camp was closed and Strip House was next in line. Called them up to see hours- they were closing at 11 but would take an order over the phone and we could eat at the bar. From jump SH was trying to win.

Royalty the minute we walked through the door. 2 place settings at the bar with an onion soup amuse bouche waiting to be enjoyed. I can honestly say this was my first amuse bouche EVER. Fanciness has its privileges. Time to step my posh game up.

And then it emerged. 22 oz. bone in Rib Eye prepared Medium Rare. The marbling was perfect and the thin layer of fat around the edges gently hugged the aged beef. Butter soft. Perfect char on the shell. A little salt, pepper and possibly some other spices (garlic maybe?). Delicious. Daddy Warbuck's rich. It must have been cooking in a stick of butter. I couldn't finish it but so wanted to. I had to have the plate removed from me because it was about to head downhill aka involuntary liquid removal status. Figure a 22 oz. steak is 16-18 oz. without the bone. Chances are that nowadays I could knock one out with my current eating regimen.

Steak without sauteed mushrooms is sin in my book. The 2 flavors complement themselves so well. Strip House offers a hefty portion of wild mushrooms. Nothing fancy. Just right. I actually might have made the mistake of eating too many shrooms thus the extra steak left on my plate. Live and learn.

Creamed spinach is another steakhouse mainstay, and SH takes it to another level. This is what Foxy was singing about when she dropped, it takes just like candy. Black Truffle Creamed Spinach. What more is there to say. I'd have been on my popeye shit as a youngster if this was put on the plate. I could have inhaled this through a straw. Sweet, delicate, decadent. Spinach with swag most definitely.

The H seal of approval. This wasn't a cheap meal, figure $50 per steak with sides running $10-$15. Add several beers to the mix and you can cop a nice pair of kicks (total for 2). My boy looked out and I didn't even have to put out- good looking Marky B. Sitting at the bar I wasn't able to fully absorb the interior, but the place is dark with red tones with a burlesque feel- minus the ladies. The booths appeared to have privacy- great for creepers. Probably a nice date place but who wants to be with a chick that can inhale a 22oz piece of meat- ayyyyyyyooooo. Unless of course "she take a bone like a rib eye steak at Ruth Chris". I got to give Ghostface credit for that one.

Plax, if by chance you're reading this, I don't want you to be down on yourself for choosing the wrong steak. Just think of what you have to look forward once the bid is up.

Strip House
13 E. 12th St. between 5th Ave. and University
New York, NY 10003
212-328-0000
StripHouse.com
Mon - Sat 5pm - 11:15pm
Sun 5pm - 10pm

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Next Time I'm in Church, Please No Photos.

2009-09-15T14:40:00.002-04:00

"Yes Kanye, that was rude", says the divine one. But he forgives and still rocks the Kanye piece. When I saw this in Portland I literally SOLed, translated- Snickered Out Loud. My jargon is a bit too advanced for LOL. That shit was/is funny. I thought I couldn't cop it, but changed my mind midstroke. Must have been the Jewish thing. And who would have predicted the shit-storm that was to ensue. Not that Yetuda's (sounds so Semitic) track record says otherwise, but still. I never liked the dude, HATE 808s and Heartbreaks (right Dallas?), but can appreciate good music, which he makes from time to time. And his verse on "Run This Town" puts Jay to shame so my hate has been tempered as of late. Did I tell you I love Portland?

This shirt is more apropos but the hate is too blatant. I rather spit my vitriol quietly. Not to say I want to throw and duck, just no need to bleed hate because that shows weakness. Freshjive is HATING HARD, but in a healthy way. Go in, Go In!! I peeped this in Seattle, though I'm sure it's in NYC. The Pacific NW is killing the fashion game. NYC step your game up.

Now I finally have something to rock with my Yeezys. That shit just makes me a doper person. True indeed. I don't even know why I still own these. I made the easiest $150 when some sap, I mean cool dude, traded me (plus cash) the exact pair, exact size, because there was a tiny glue mark on his. I thought I was getting punked, but his boy said that he's really a lunatic and I tend to agree. I don't mean to badmouth an enabler of mine, but damn, this sneaker game is out of control. So if you need that 11.5 holla at me. But make sure the paper isn't Rav 4 status. Kanye would most definitely not approve. But we fucks with the bee stings. Holla at the itty bitty titty committee.

And I'm back. Did I tell you I love Portland?

The Summer of HowFresh.

2009-08-26T03:00:00.009-04:00

Where the fuck have I been? All over the place and about to cover more ground. I know the posts have been sparse, and that's being very generous. Absent is more like it. I'm not giving up- just having an incredible summer and trying to enjoy every minute of it. Yeah- maybe my priorities haven't been in the proper order, but guilt was so 2008 so I'm not trying to lament my dormancy. I am fully aware of it though, and it's bothersome. The intentions are there- for real for real, but apparently the actions haven't been. The engine is revving hardbody, but the car is in park.

So I'm about to drive cross country and see some shit. Some major shit. To say I'm excited would be an understatement. 5 days to travel to Seattle from Pittsburgh. I still consider that x-country. Who wants to see 6 hours of boring Pennsylvania anyway. Dem Durty and Howfresh, the super Chucktown DJ crew circa '03 will be hitting the Interstates. I know for a fact I'm catching PNC Ballfield to see some Pirates v Phils and hopefully the Bucs will put it on the soon to be former World Champs. Howfresh will most definitely eat PNC. I'd like to thank Jet Blue for having some shitty routes, thus causing me to procrastinate on purchasing their all-you-can travel ticket for $600 between Sept. 8 and Oct. 8. They got me thinking and then the Holy One Blessed Be He looked out for the kid with this magic carpet taking off from Steel City.

I never imagined I'd be in Seattle anytime in my life and now I'll be there twice in less than a 3 month period. Must be the bivalves- true story. Portland to follow and the grand finale being San Fran. Word is born, oops- Bahn, I will be having some fucking fun. De La in Portland, AT&T Ballfield, Safeco, Yellowstone, you already know. Who knows, while in Oregon I might just hit up Beaverton and get that swank Nike job I've always desired. Or at least get in the employee store and go ape shit.

And I finally got my camera back. It broke the night of the Peter Rosenberg x Raekwon Noisemakers event and life hasn't been the same since. I love the camera, but Canon needs to re haul their customer service. Now that my baby is back in my arms I can breathe (and post again).

Yeah- I found the Mighty H joints. Frank's Chop Shop had them hiding, but I can sense an H from miles away. There's a very special H in the pipeline. And now F hats are on the hitlist. Peep the buttahs above. Like I need another fucking excuse to melt my cheddar.

Here are some videos I took over the past 2 months. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera for the Ghost/Meth/Red show- one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Also missed out on filming the Kane at Prospect Park and Rakim at Highline. At least I had an extra hand to double fist.

Slick Rick- Mona Lisa @ East River Park NYC 7/23/09

Raekwon- Wu Gambinos @ Noisemakers with Peter Rosenberg 7/29/09

Jadakiss- Made You Look @ Sneakerpimps NYC 6/27/09

Clipse- Grindin' @ Sneakerpimps NYC 6/27/09

Rakim @ Highline Ballroom 8/13- The HFE H is for Holy Are You Ticket Giveaway.

2009-08-12T11:03:00.010-04:00

We have a winner.

Shouts to Incilin for his knowing the ledge. Thanks to everybody that participated.

The answers were as follows:

1) Name 2 food items mentioned on the Paid in Full LP, including the lines they were used in.

"Me and Eric B. and a nice big plate of Fish, which is my favorite dish, but without no money, it's still a wish."- Paid In Full

"Thought I was a donut, you tried to glaze me."- Eric B. is President

2) What group was sampled for Rakim's "Holy Are You" single? Include the album it was on and the producer of that album.

The Electric Prunes (had to keep it food related). The album was Release of An Oath and the producer was David Axelrod, no Obama.

3) On which album did Rakim wear Nike Air Force 1 Highs with a royal blue swoosh? What cap was he wearing? For the true heads- who remembers the official Nike colorway on the box? (just for fun, won't count towards the answer)

Don't Sweat the Technique was the album and he's wearing a Knicks cap. Needed the binocs for that one apparently. I'm pretty positive the colorway was white/ultramarine.

Welcome back. I have a pair of tix for the Rakim concert at Highline Ballroom Thursday night, August 13th. Be prepared for all the classics as well as a sneak preview of the forthcoming The Seventh Seal LP.

Thursday is pretty busy. You can either catch the 18th Letter or peep De La Soul backed by a live band. Seems like a no-brainer. No disrespect to De La. Don't forget to get all your NYC concert info HERE.

Similar to the previous giveaways, I'll ask several questions and the first person to respond with the correct answers, both factually and grammatically, will win the tickets. Email all answers to the address in red on the upper right. You must include a phone number so that I can reach you. I will contact the winner by 3 pm Thursday and the tickets will be available at the venue prior to the show.

I got some questions, that're serious as cancer...

1) Name 2 food items mentioned on the Paid in Full LP, including the lines they were used in.

2) What group was sampled for Rakim's "Holy Are You" single? Include the album it was on and the producer of that album.

3) On which album did Rakim wear Nike Air Force 1 Highs with a royal blue swoosh? What cap was he wearing? For the true heads- who remembers the official Nike colorway on the box? (just for fun, won't count towards the answer)

What would an "H is for" post be without a fitted? On some mighty Zeus-like mythical shit I'll hit you with the lightning bolts. Rakim is an exalted figure so it works. The mighty 8th letter.

Method Man/Redman/Ghostface @ Nokia 7/30/09- The HFE Ticket Giveaway.

2009-07-29T16:36:00.005-04:00

Like ice water, the generosity keeps flowing through the veins. So apropos since I'm seeing Raekwon tonight. HowfreshEats has an extra pair of tickets for tomorrow night's (Thursday, July 30) Footprints in Hip Hop Tour at Nokia Theatre featuring Method Man, Redman, & Ghostface Killah along with Duo Live, DJ JS1, and Mickey Factz with Stalley.

Volume 2 of the world famous HowfreshEats ticket giveaway. Similar to the Cam Crime Pays contest, there will be several questions and the 1st person to answer all of them correctly, both factually and grammatically, will get the pair. Email answers to the red address on the upper right. Tickets will be available at the venue prior to the show.

Questions Please...

1) Name 3 album tracks that Ghostface, Method Man and Redman appear on together.

2) What is the only album track that Redman and Ghostface appear on without Method Man?

3) What tracks were on the Bulletproof Wallets clean LP but not the commercial release, and what 2 tracks had different versions on the commercial release?

BONUS:

4) According to Ghostface, what happened when Biggie died?

Check here for all your concert needs. You never know if volume 3 will be next week or next month.

Mixtape Mondays.

2009-07-27T17:00:00.004-04:00

You know how much the kid loves alliteration. Mixtapes too. Unfortunately there's been nary a CD worth listening to lately. And believe me, I'm on Canal St. almost once a week checking the Africans' bootlegs. By the way, Canal St. is straight bedlam lately. The boots are out in full visible force. And 5-0 doesn't harass them at all. Almost copped the Gucci limited edition wallet/GPS unit.

J-Love - Acknowledge the Takeover Vol. 12 hosted by Meyhem Lauren

After a 2 month trip abroad J-Love is back with something you should be listening to. No Gucci Mane, no Wavy Max B, no Juiceman, no Drake. More like Rakim, Raekwon, Ghostface, AZ, Kool G Rap, Large Professor, Havoc, Trife and so on. Not filler non-album cuts either- new heat from some legends. A bunch of joints worthy of continual rewinds. The Large Pro joint is crazy, new Rakim over the Axelrod/Electric Prunes break is what you've been waiting for, the Inspectah Deck joint going at Joe Budden, and some real soulful Ghost shit. I don't think any other DJ has been as consistent as J-Love bringing the non-radio dope shit.

Rakim- Holy Are You

Large Professor- Bowne

J-Love's diplomacy skills, both international and domestic, are at an all time high here. Calling out all fake Michael Jackson lovers and their moms (all your mothers should be burned for bearing the birth of worthless piece of shit garbage ass motherfucking cock sucking faggot DJ niggas that you all are), commenters on websites/blogs, and the hygiene of various countries. "Dirty France...they smell like shit out there b," Greeks too, Brits are prissy but Belgians are aight. He must be a mussel and frite head.

The "Typhoon Rap" track has the culinary verse of the month, if not year, by Action Bronson. Doesn't hurt that the beat is a straight head nod break loop. Has Martin Yan been referenced on a track before? This shit is history in the making.

"Super superb, Martha Stewart good with the herbs, I'm Bobby Flay cooking the birds, Yo, I'm Martin Yan, when you talk about the knife, steal and ate the chicken, we talkin' bout your wife"

Typhoon Rap- Meyhem Lauren ft. Action Bronson

If you haven't caught the Nah Right x Cookin' Soul 1:00 AM and Rising mixtape, do yourself a favor and give it a gander. While you might not be up on all the artists, the production is top notch. Who but Eskay would have 40 Cal, Doowop, and Mickey Factz on the same tape?

Catch it HERE.

Word is Banh.

2009-07-24T16:22:00.003-04:00

(photo courtesy of the NY Times)

Make sure to scroll down for the official Word is Banh playlist.

I finally faced my fears and tackled 2009's most popular food item, the Banh Mi, or versions very similar to it. Yeah man, this shit freaked me out. It didn't make much sense to me- the ingredients didn't seem like they worked well together. The carrots, the pate, the terine, the ham- basically the odd cuts of pork. It freaked me out to the point of aversion. Just writing this and conjuring up the image of these swine cuts makes me half nauseous, but truth be told, if done right, the sandwich is delicious. Fuck the fear, we're going in on this one. That's why I had 3 different versions this past week. I haven't ventured into Chinatown yet for the real deal half jewelry store/half banh mi shops, but you need to crawl before you walk. Maybe later today.

It all kind of happened by accident. I hit Stand for their fabled Toasted Marshmallow shake and right across the street was Num Pang, a Cambodian sandwich spot. There will be a post for the shake very shortly, Best I Ever Had- no Drake status, that had me coming back 2 days later to re-up on the chilled nectar. I was disappointed with the burger, so this was a liquid only endeavor. Carbs would have to be acquired elsewhere and Num Pang fit the bill. The little stand overlooking 12th Street looked welcoming so the order was placed.

The menu didn't provide the "typical" banh mi so I went with the next best thing, the 5 spiced pork belly ($7.50) with its assortment of pickled carrots, cucumber, cilantro and an interesting yet delicious addition of pickled rhubarb. It was missing the pate and terine so the trepidation was at level blue, just a bit guarded.

One bite and it was a wrap. This is the problem with fear- it keeps you from life's pleasures. And I'm throwing banh mi and the like into that category for the present moment. Freshly baked bread from Parisi Bakery on Mott Street housing a flavor jumpoff (read: party, pause). Tart, sweet, sour, bitter, pork, crunch, crisp- the sandwich encompasses it all. Shit had me open.

My boy, aka the Gatekeeper, had the Lemongrass chicken liver pate with grilled pickled red scallions ($7.25). Not a fan of liver- the stuff dries me out- however this dude is a certified liver specialist and it received a high mark. So for all you liverheads, do you. I should note that both of these sandwiches were daily specials, but they have been on the menu for a little while. Not sure how often they switch things up.

And that's why after an afternoon of eating and drinking I found myself at Baoguette on St. Mark's off 2nd Ave. ordering the Sloppy Bao, a banh mi-esque creation consisting of spicy burry beef, green mango, cilantro, and lemongrass. This meal too followed a toasted marshmallow milkshake, as well as a burger, half dozen oysters, a bunch of peronis and a San Loco cheese quesadilla. Yeah man, the worms were working OT in the tummy. A victim of the big eyes, the sandwich didn't meet its maker till the next day.

With that said, I ate it after a brief stay in the fridge. Tried heating it up, but the inside was still pretty cold. Didn't even matter. Hot or cold, it was enjoyable and all the flavors were accounted for. Basically an Indochine Sloppy Joe, as the name indicates. Spicy ground meat with the mandatory pickled element (green papaya) and some cilantro on their in-house baked bread. I could see this sandwich being messy, but it's worth it. Just go in Guy Fieri style, elbows out and sneakers protected from splatter, skeet skeet. Easy.

I needed 3 sandwiches to make this a substantial post. So on a rainy Tuesday I ventured out to Baoguette's most uptown baby, uptown baby location on Lexington between 25th and 26th Steets. The $5 namesake Baoguette was on the hit list. The menu describes it as pork terine, pate, pulled Pork, and fresh herbs, but my take was a crumbled terine with whole peppercorns, pate, ham, cilantro, pickled carrots and daikon, and sliced jalapeno. The fear was at level orange shook ones, high. The pork was showing out in all its glory.

First let me say that eating this fresh, I was really impressed with the bread. Light, with a nice bite. And now the good stuff. Every bite had me wondering what I was getting in to. That aside, it was delicious. Aside from a rogue piece of gristle, fat or bone (?) the flight was smooth. Pork reigns supreme but not in an overpowering way. All of the other ingredients temper the swinesthenics. To follow up on the whole cracked peppercorns- my first encounter had me about to spit out the entire bite, thinking I was eating into some crazy head cheese product. Once I settled down, I looked forward to the other hidden crunch berries.

Baoguette also serves several varieties of bun noodles and salads. Never one to say no to a noodle dish, I ordered the roasted fish vermicelli noodle. A spicy roasted fish served over a cold bed of white vermicelli noodles sitting over a bed of lettuce and mint leaves. Mad support serta style, ya dig? Pickled carrots and daikon as well as thinly sliced cucumber and sliced jalapeno were also part of the mix. A sweet honey colored sauce was on the side.

This was the dish. A refreshing light dish. Not sure what kind of fish- light pink in color, but tender, and some major heat. The mint leaves caught me offguard, thinking it was cilantro, but the coolness of the mint offset the spice real well. The crunch of the cucumber and pickled veggies added to the fun. A little extra srirscha hot sauce and I'll be heading back for this one.

Num Pang
21 East 12th St. between University and 5th Ave., closer to University
New York, NY 10003
212-255-3271
Monday – Saturday 11am to 10pm
Sunday 12pm to 9pm
www.numpangnyc.com

Baoguette
East Village
37 Saint Marks Place between 2nd & 3rd Ave.
New York, NY 10003
212-380-1487
Sun - Thurs 11:00am - 12:00am
Fri - Sat 11:00am - 2:00am

Murray Hill
61 Lexington between 25th & 26th St.
212-532-1133
Mon - Sat 11 - 8pm
Sun 12pm - 5pm
www.baoguettecafe.com/

MUSIC PLEASE...

Below we have the OFFICIAL Banh Mi playlist. Grab yourself a sandwich, press play and enjoy.

Word is Banh- Brand Nubian

Word is Banh Remix- Brand Nubian

Word is Banh- House of Pain

Word is Banh Remix- House of Pain

Run DMC- Word is Banh

Banh to Roll- Masta Ace

Banh 2 Live- O.C.

Banh 2 Live Remix- O.C.

Banh Killer- Scarface

Banh 2 Kill- M.O.P.

Natural Banh Killaz- Dr. Dre & Ice Cube

Banh Gangsta- Boss

Hits From the Banh- Cypress Hill

I Woke Up Early on my Banh Day...- Nas

Banh Alone, Die Alone, No Crew Keep My Crown or Throne...- Nas

Mo' Money Mo' Murder/Banh Alone, Die Alone- AZ