Ralph Lauren is the fucking man. After years of letters, phone calls, faxes, door knocks, borderline harassment, etc. I finally have my initials on a Polo hoodie. The official collabo. Shit almost brought me to tears. True story.
I wasn't even trying to cop anything. Just peeping the product following a Giants loss to the Padres. Great pitching, terrible hitting. Hit the San Fran Westfield Center- a dope building with a crazy dome/rotunda that houses mad stores. Bloomies, Nordstrom, fly shit like that. Howfresh loves to spend money. If he sees something he likes, he usually cops. I have no idea why we're 3rd personing it right now. Throw an H on it and you know I'm out the door with it.
I found myself in the Polo section looking for a come-up and BAM!!!! I see this beautiful thing. Red hoodie with a black and white "HRL" stitched on the left breast. Vintage varsity type letters. Wow. What's better than an H? HRL- the kid's initials. I lost my shit. Definite cop. Then the Sales Professional- tell me that shit ain't fancy- hits me with this sales pitch to sign up for a Bloomies card and to tell me about the sale that's going down on Friday, the 11th. Only problem being that it was Wed. and I was hitting the big bird on Friday. He concocts this whole plan to make it happen. Calls at the airport, refunded purchases, etc. I go along with it. Just get me that hoodie. Part of the deal was spending $150 to get an additional amount off plus a discount with the new card. So I snatch this Polo on sale- mad busy with a huge "5" ( I prefer even numbers), settle up and bounce. Did I mention there was a black hoodie too?
So I'm using the lovely Bloomies' restroom. I'm telling you- whenever you have business to attend to, the Bloomies's banos are top notch. Clean, always plentiful in the TP, never busy, and smell nice. You can keep your dignity while dropping doozies. So I'm throwing water on my face to grab that extra oxygen and it dawns on me, "I don't want that shirt. I might as well just hard body that shit and cop the black joint too." So I head back to homeboy and tell him the news. He's psyched cause his commission goes up and I'm glad I didn't piss any loot away on a rather bone shirt. The best part- I reached the higher plateau for the sale so I get 2 hoodies retailing at $145 each for a total of $191 shipped to my door. H. R. motherfucking L.
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5 comments:
Awesome! Fresh, all I can think about as I read you're post is: What's you're middle name?
Ahhhhh. The elusive R.
I won't tell...
As a witness to this "drug deal", this had to be one of the most maniacal shopping experiences ever...My head was spinning by the time the hand to hand was done. Dope hoodies. Ralph Lipshitz wins again.
Pretty effective piece of writing, much thanks for your article.
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