Oh-oh-oh Last Night, I Ate Smelts for the Very First Time, For You...

After 7- Can't Stop



I lied, it was Saturday, not last night. The title was too good to tamper with.

When I saw the image of 3 tiny fish on the menu I acted. The dish was called Shishamo, but I hadn't a clue. It cost $4.75, an amount I was willing to gamble with. They don't call me High Roller How for nothing. The waitress said they were smelt, a fish I was familiar with but never tried.

When they were brought to the table I stared at them, not sure what to do. At 5 inches long and maybe an inch thick there isn't much room to work with. I called the waitress over, finger snaps and all that, and inquired on how to proceed. She said eat the whole thing. Beautiful. I'm not a fussy eater and these posed no fuss. I squeezed ample lemon juice on the trio and then the thoughts took over:

Were the bones going to be crunchy?

Were these going to be as strong and briny as sardines or anchovies?

And lastly, will the brains be gross?

It's safe to say that I am a moderatley adventurous eater and will try anything once, but there is always that moment of uncertainty. I'm making it sound like I ate a tarantula or some crazy shit. It's just an ittie-bittie-tittie-committee fish.



And then I bit the head off this little motherfucker. Like the savage that I am. To be honest, it was way more mild than I expected. For starters, there was no crunch of a tiny skull being shattered or eeny meeny eye balls popping. It wasn't as aggressive as the sardine or anchovy. The consistency was kind of mealy, mushy, not much tooth or chew. I took a peek into the body cavity but there wasn't much to report back. The crunchiest part was the tail. 3 was more than enough. Now I was ready to tackle May's Place 50% off sushi. To my pleasure smelts received a Good rating from the Monterrey Bay Seafood Watch. No need to purge. Holla.



Smelts are a great source of protein, similar to sardines, but high in cholesterol. With all the fish and shellfish I consume, cholesterol is a definite, and even though I enjoyed these little suckas, there are bigger fish to fry and crab to crack. Not that any fish are attractive, but these are rather ugly. Their eyes are bugging.

The One Who Smelt it Dealt it could have been the title but I gave up potty humor in 2010.

Originally I had the Little Shawn track lined up to be the headliner, but after further review, I opted for the original. It deserved top billing just based on the fact that the producer is Howie Tee. I need not say more. Here it is anyway:

Little Shawn- I Made Love (4 da Very 1st Time)