Thursday, October 29, 2009

I'll Take a Shitter on the Schmitter aka Zim, This is for You.

Truth be told the Schmitter is one of the best ballpark food items on the planet. But we're going to ignore that for the time being and rep for my Billy Barou Nachos. A year ago today I had my Ryan Howard jersey shirt on repping for my NL East cohorts. I mean they're the Mets' arch nemesis and I hate the Mets so based on some transitive property thinking it made sense. (Buck I see you) And who were these Devil Rays? Bunch of one hit wonders.

My disdain for the un-lovable losers, last year aside, began on Sunday, May 24, 2009 during the extra innings loss to the Phils at the new Cathedral. A tough loss as Melky tied it up in the bottom 9th only to cough it up in the 11th. Thank you Brett Tomko, enjoy Oakland. Jerk. I heard about Philly fans, (not a Giants fan so indifferent to Eagles fans, until now) but seeing them in person is a completely different animal. And animals they were. A fucking May inter-league game and these dudes (girls too) are acting like it's the biggest day of their life. Bigger than first born status. "Fuck the Yankees" chants and all that. Goatees dyed red, cheesesteak hats, awfulness. And I'm not trying to talk shit behind anybody's back here. Not my thing. Just being objective, as I'm sure these people would agree that they're dirtbags too. I truly understood the degree of disgustingness. Don't even start me on the female Eagles fan in B'more who accosted us following a Yankees v. Orioles game- chick saw the Yankees garb and went into the "E-A-G-L-E-S" chant hardbody. No bullshit, the veins on her neck were trying to escape. Not bad looking either. What a shame.

Don Zimmer we still love you. The way you were face planted by this jheri curled assassin. Unacceptable. We will seek and exact revenge in your honor. Tonight is what everybody's been waiting for. The suspense, the drama. Pedro back in NYC for the first time in 4 years, though his Mets stint doesn't really register. Dude was half-crippled. Game 7 of the '04 ALCS is the real last game. The game that most mattered. A terrible day.

I thought this shirt would never have meaning again (aside from the obvious). With Damon benedicting and joining the greatest franchise ever, Manny out in Lala, and Pedro's invalid status for so long, who would have thought? (We need a Papi, Pedroia, Youkilis and Papelbon shirt ASAP) The baseball gods knew what was coming. And tonight, judgment shall be delivered. It better, because I need me some cheesesteaks, and refuse to spend my loot in Philly if they win. And going back to Philly down 2 is not a good look. Especially with a freshly insulted Cole Hamels being demoted to a 3rd stringer. LET'S GO YANKEES!!! Let's wake the fuck up. Yeah you Tex, come on. A-Rod don't start freaking out and spiral back to previous post-seasons. Not now. Man the fuck up. And Joe, get your shit together. If he's not pitching well, yank him immediately. Let's go boys.

Fuck a schmitter. Fuck a cheesesteak. We rep hard tonight. Moe's Southwest Grill gets busy. And what's Philly's answer to Jiggaman? Schooly D? Ha.

Katz's Deli really needs a stand at the stadium. That would be some real battle royale shit. NYC Pastrami vs. the Philly cheesesteak. Is it even a question?


DBDerek said...

My father's hand back on the blog.....I love it!

buckemdown said...

Still no comparison, but I'd say Beanie Sigel and Black Thought might be better representatives than Schooly D. That Schmitter is pretty mean though - even if Dennis and Kuch are fighting about what they talked about in the car during its enjoyment. Keep it rolling Yankees - now's the time Tex, and A-rod... I'm watching you.

thekid10705 said...

Phillies fans stink..(insert: me threatening to hand out wedgies in the bleachers of WS game 2)..

AJ tonight-parade on Friday...AL MVP! Jeter reg.season MVP!!

mark said...

I hate the Philadelphia sports fan as much as anyone. Probably way, way more.

But the Katz's pastrami sandwich is really a toss up against the Pat's cheesesteak. They are both delicious. Maybe Katz's wins in the end because to get one, you aren't forced to wait in line with a bunch of Philly cockslobs.

HowFresh said...

Mark, I'm surprised you don't put Katz's in higher company than a cheesesteak. Especially one as pedestrian as Pat's. Shots!!!!

Corazon said...

wow that burger is pretty awesome. it fits perfectly for me. so yum!

Anonymous said...

Philly fans never liked Mike Schmidt just goes to show their ignorance.