Thursday, May 15, 2014

Food Porn is For Sacrilegious Sinners.

Peace to Lewis and Clark, the godfathers of the American exploration game. As I navigate the city streets, I channel their 2+ year expedition, presumably in a safer and more civilized fashion. I'd also like to take this time out to pay homage to my father, whose passion to travel and revisit their trail has been ingrained in me, via several trips out west. Sacagawea, the woman in the painting was his favorite Native American female. Outside of my mother, Saca G was tops on his list. Explain why else would we have visited her namesake park in Livingston, MT.

When I started this blog nearly 6.5 years ago (HOLY SHIT!!!!) my intention was to shed light on restaurants and food spots that had no exposure. And obviously talk my shit. Plenty of times I would drive by a spot that looked appealing, went home to google it (pre smart phone era), and zilch. I couldn't be the only person inquiring about said place? So I took it upon myself to do the knowledge.

At the time I was living in Woodlawn, the North Bronx. An Irish enclave, I wasn't checking for any scone, bangers and mash, or blood pudding reviews. In hindsight I should've had a Cadbury bar a day post but nope. Sorry lads. Rather I was hyped for the smorgasbord of West Indian delicacies lining White Plains Road, just a stone's throw away over the Bronx River. And there were tons of them. Where to start? Is this spot really the king of jerk chicken? The self-proclaimed patty champions? It was tough. Entering a different culture's establishment can be nerve wracking. The unknown. Language barriers. Embarrassment of having no clue what you're doing. The "Did I order the right thing?" panic. And since I did the majority of my grub all by my lonely, there was no one to get suggestions or recommendations from.

Photoshop courtesy of yours truly

I say all this because I'd like to bring HFE back to the essence, or at least attempt to. The fun, the excitement, the challenge. The idea that my words, my thoughts would be digested by others is very cool. Being the source of food intelligence, I want to be that, and I've been slacking. Yes, the climate is extremely different now. Food porn is rampant and I will join the Right Wing Foodist Values sect to put an end to this. The Lord does not agree with those that use delicious goodness as descriptive terminology. Nor does the Lord condone hashtag nomnomnom. Hashtag fartfartfart. It is an uphill battle, but I have filled the tank with ethanol and we're going to keep trucking! You crazy for this one Willie!!

With that said, stay tuned for updated accounts on the Odyssey of Howfresh. Side note, looking for a staff taxidermist to handle all roadkill and game that poses a threat. The mantle is naked and could use some accessorizing.

Q-Tip, Phife and Ali Shaheed provide some of the soundtrack for this journey. And of course, sit down Indian style...