Wednesday, January 1, 2014

REALLY?!?

Had I known my last post was going to be frozen in time for nearly 3 years, I can guarantee it would not have been an ode to cherry juice. I would have called a last minute audible. Possibly delve into my cross country trek to score happy hour oysters in Seattle. Or tell you about that time I went to Portland and left Voodoo Donutless. Or recount the summer of Momofuku Milk Bar red velvet/cream cheese frosting soft serve. But no. Instead I decided to opine about cherry juice. Cherry juice?!?!? Really? Cherry juice?? Damn dude. No disrespect to the burgundy super fruit, but I'm better than that. This is Howfresh EATS cotdamnit, not DRINKS.

The gluttony. The meals. The snacks. The epicurean adventures. And don't forget the potato chips. Endless amounts of food capable of removing hunger from 3rd world countries. Bites documented from all angles. But none of that was shared. None. I was selfish. I hit the light switch and left the room. The masses had to walk and eat in darkness. I won't even talk about the customized H caps aka the buttahs, or the weekly vinyl nights I never invited you to.

H hat in hand, fresh off the plane from NOLA with funkaaaay MATERIAL for days, please accept my apologies. I come with a truckload of them LED bulbs, lasting longer than those phased out incandescent joints. The HFE marquee will not dim again.

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