Wednesday, April 1, 2009

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 5- The Final Edition.

I don't know what more I can do in the chip game. After encountering potato after potato I think I've accomplished all there is in terms of the spud. I've lived, loved, cried and shared more than you know with the tuber. I've went from a novice to the motherfucking potato chip blog champion. It's a sad day for both the potato and Howfresh. But let's not bow our heads. Let's rejoice in all the sodium filled nights that left my blood pressure at rates that no man should experience. Next stop, trail mix.

Take a trip down memory lane...

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 1- just a newjack in the game.

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 2
- understanding the potato.

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 3
- appreciating the potato.

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 4- in the mind of the potato.

Fuck all that bullshit. April Fools peoples. I'm in this till the day I'm buried next to the potato. About to get a russet tattooed on my shoulder blade and SPUDLIFE across the belly. Gangsta.

Before we start I'd like to send condolences to the Cape Cod Chip family. The founder, Steve Bernard, passed away in early March. “He didn’t invent the kettle chip, but he was involved in bringing it back to prominence.” For that we salute you. To read more click HERE.

It's only right that we spark this soirée with some Cape Cod crunch.

Cape Cod Jalapeno & Aged Cheddar

When they say jalapeno, they mean jalapeno. These are hot. The tongue is attacked from the first bite. If you dig a little pain these are for you. The cheddar is very prevalent, adding a richness. Between the spice and richness I couldn't eat that many in one sitting. Like all Cape Cod chips they are perfectly sized and have a nice crunch. As mentioned in past reviews, OD on the ingredients. Lypolized butter oil? Modified tapioca starch? Autolyzed yeast extract? Cape Cod Killas need to chill with that. 8 oz. bag for $3.49.

Lay's Kettle Cooked Reduced Fat

There's something wrong with these. Kind of similar to diet soda- it just doesn't taste right. Is it the salt? Doubt it because these are salty and salt is clearly mentioned in the ingredients with potatoes and sunflower oil. Must be the oil. The bag says 40% less fat? Where'd it go? Wherever it went, the taste went with it. Stick with the regular version. 8.5 oz. for $3.29

Terra Yukon Gold Salt & Pepper

These chips are way too big. Hippopotamus mouth big. Regardless of size they're just not good. Too airy and light. Doesn't taste like a chip- more like a potato crisp or a rice cake. I refuse to eat the whole bag. What a shame. At least the ingredients are healthy- potato, canola or safflower oil, salt and black pepper. 5 oz. for $2.99.

Good Health Natural Foods Olive Oil Potato Chips- Garlic

They must have put those huge cloves of garlic on the bag into it. OD on the garlic. Breath kicking like Bruce Lee status. This is unfortunate since Good Health makes a great chip- crunchy and not too big. 2 chips and you taste that garlic half an hour later. Whoa. Russet potatoes, olive oil, safflower/sunflower oil, garlic and sea salt. 5 oz. for $3.49.

Kettle Brand- Unsalted

What you see is what you get. A potato chip in it's simplest form. If you dig the earthiness of the potato with no distractions then this is for you. If you fiend for that high blood pressure shit, then pass. The chip is way too dark for me. I'm not a fan of dark chips. Racist undertones? Who knows. Potato and sunflower/safflower oil. Packaging wise Kettle screwed up. I was unable to rip the bag open along the seam- too many chips can take those muscles away. There's a slit to tear it, which I did, but then it's real difficult to keep fresh- see pic. Can't clip it or roll it up. 5 oz. for $2.39.

Kettle Brand- Death Valley Chipotle

Oooooweeee. That heat creeps up and then doesn't let go. The BBQ chip from hell. Nah, not that bad, but the heat doesn't relent and causes a slow death upon your taste buds. Now I fully understand the name. No hiccups, just a little discomfort. Plus I don't really dig BBQ chips- too sweet for me. Peep the pepper posse- chili pepper, cayenne pepper, habanero pepper, and jalapeno pepper. If one doesn't get to you, another will. Again, these chips were too dark for me. Yeast extract included as an additive. Necessary? 5 oz. bag for $2.39.

Utz Natural Lightly Salted Kettle Cooked Gourmet Chips

Talk about a fancy name. I'll let it slide since this is the kind of chip I get it in with. This is my wheelhouse. Crunchy, salty enough and bite sized. Win, win, win. A little extra crunch might have taken these to Hall of Fame status, but definitely an All Star. Potatoes, expeller pressed sunflower oil and sea salt. I'm sure you were asking the same question so let me provide the answer- Expeller pressed oil is oil extracted from nuts or seeds by crushing them. A little more expensive since yield is lower and it takes more work. It is healthier though and I like health. 8.5 oz. for $3.49.

I wish I didn't have that chicken and rice before I did this. Definitely not feeling well. No pain, no gain.


buckemdown said...

Maybe those Reduced Fat joints were made with Olestra. Did you get leaky ass afterwards? You must have some of that mean kush to get busy on the chips like this.

AdebolaVirusSunshine said...

Last month I copped a bag of those Utz Kettle Cooked chips and was feelin of course I jumped on Howfresheats to see where they fell in the pecking order & was shocked to see no review. Thank you sir for rectifying the situation.

Allen said...

Love the fact that all photos display Redman's "Tonight's Da Night" in the background.

Derek said...

I think all of his photos should have an album in the background from now on.

Generic Viagra said...

I'm sure you're right, but the only reason I read this article was because I heard this Final Edition on the radio and wanted to know more. Maybe she really does know what she's doing.