Sunday, March 29, 2009

You're Fakin' the Funk.

I've been meaning to do a Fakin' The Funk post for a couple of months now, but the shit that irked me didn't rate high enough on the "go fuck yourself" meter. All I wanted was a reason to post up both versions of the Main Source classic "Fakin' The Funk" - something I was unaware of until recently. The idea just sat there. Today I can finally say that there's some bullshit going on and some major faking of the funk. A major thank you goes out to all parties as well as a big old fuck you. All I know is that I'm seriously faking the funk by posting the image above.


25% fare hikes during the worst economic climate in our lifetime. If you experienced the depression maybe not. Effective May 31, a ride will go from $2 to $2.5o. Monthly passes from $81 to $103. There goes that pair of $264 kicks I was going to treat myself to. Unemployment rates are at all time high- NYC just surpassed 8%- the highest in 16 years and almost double from a year ago- and now it'll cost more for these people to interview for prospective jobs, or better yet try to access the great (read: terrible) services at each of the borough's labor offices. Corporate America is getting bailed out so why not the everyday American. Fuck American International Group and let's focus on the American Local Group, i.e. the people. Rather than get pissed at the government, I'll stick with Lee Sander and his people. Wasn't there a budget surplus not too long ago? And they've even begun advertising on the outside of the train- love History channel- doesn't that bring in the cake? There's got to be other ways to generate revenue. MTA- You're Faking the Funk.

The New York Yankees:

What a buttahface. I do not hate the Yankees as a team. Let's be very clear. But as a business they leave a lot to desire, though I truly appreciate the CC and Tex pick-ups. It seems that segregation is alive and well at the house that A-Rod built. More like class warfare. In the Yankee Stadium A to Z Guide there is a mention that only ticket holders of field level seats will have access to the concessions in that level. Am I to believe that as an upper deck ticket holder I cannot enjoy the same things that the field boxer can? Are my tastes not as refined? The velvet rope will be in full effect at the new stadium. It was bad enough when they began to not let little kids into the field level box seats once they became empty in the later innings. That was one of the greatest thrills back in the days along with watching batting practice down low while trying to get a ball, pause, or autograph- it was your chance to be so close to the action. When it was over you went to your seat. Simple. Bring the fucking fun back you miserable pieces of shit. NY Yankees- You're Fakin' the Funk.

NYC Board of Education

I was a student at PS 24 from K through 6th grade. Principal Rothstein ran the show and like his staff back in the 80s, they were old school, meant business and more often than not filled their students with fear. You acted up- you got dealt with. A new breed has entered the school system- these ideological, romantic, save the world weirdos. I'd probably be one of them, but that shit wouldn't last long. I've subbed in the system and witnessed the craziness firsthand. Anyway- the current principal at 24 is being probed for Bizarre Buddhist Hate Chants he led for teachers that refused to kiss his hand every morning. I didn't know that hate was in the Buddhist's vocabulary. The voodoo dolls and effigies were next if the hateful hymns didn't do the job. Get this man the fuck away from these kids. No wonder they now grow up wearing tight pants and listening to Kanye. Enough already. How do you hire quacks like this? Maybe it's time to reevaluate the screening process. NYC Board of Ed and Principal Scharper- You're Faking the Funk.

Inconsiderate Neighbors:

There are 4 washers and 2 dryers in my building shared by 60 plus units. These machines are in demand. When doing your laundry have the fucking respect for your fellow tenant and don't let your shit sit in said washer and dryer for a period of time after the cycle ends. I prefer not taking your items out of the dryer for 2 reasons- 1- if you're a chick I'm a creep for touching and smelling your bra and panties, and 2- there isn't a clean surface or basket to throw them in/on. While I'd love to show you the same respect you show me, I'm not that much of an asshole. This shit gets me as livid as shitty drivers- laundry room rage. Selfish neighbor- You're Faking the Funk.

Ba ba bup bup ba.

As I said in the beginning of this post, I didn't know there were 2 versions of Main Source's "Fakin' the Funk" until recently. The track originally appeared on the White Men Can't Rap Soundtrack and was then released as a remix 12" on Wild Pitch Records- the remix is the one I know. The original goes straight into the Main Ingredient sample while the remix has Large Professor telling us "Now I've never been one to knock the next man for getting his...but this has always been something for which you have to be this is how we do" over Kool & the Gang's "N.T." Build up to get you ready. The track feels empty without it. The remix has a faster tempo than the OG and after several listens this becomes very obvious. The lyrics are basically the same in the first verse with several different ad libs thrown in. Things get switched up in the second verse. The OG version is missing the "cause times are real and I can't feel putting (scratches) down on the real to real" - one of the highlights of the track. The remix wins all day. I've attached the original sample. Peep the dope artwork. I need to tie food in somehow.

Main Source- Fakin' The Funk Remix- 12"

Main Source- Fakin' The Funk Soundtrack version

The Main Ingredient- Magic Shoes


Paul said...

Good looks on posting the The Main Ingredient. Magic Shoes huh, that song sounds like it was written for Tom and Gary.

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