HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 9- Top Potato Edition.

DJ Chuck Chillout & Kool CHIP - Gimme Minze


Ooooooh. Let the track knock. "Yo Chip, go bust a line or 2..."

It's been a while since I last opined about the potato. A lot has changed. If you recall, the OG Lay's Kettle Cooked was my numero uno. It's been a year plus and feelings change. Those commitment issues keep rearing their ugly head. Had to kick that bird to the curb. No wifey trifey activity, just complacency. Like Killa says, you got that old head. There's new head out there. Her name is CC. Fresh off the Hyannis sand, rocking a Polo cable knit sweater over the oxford (all in pastel hues), J Crew khaki skirt, and some Tory Burch sandals. Who would have thought. Met her at a wedding. She liked my swag, thought I was Puerto Rican at first. Killed it with the white leather loafers. All she kept saying was "call me Papas Sexy." I lied, told her I was. Pulled the Dru Ha- "I always get the potato cause I tell them that I'm Spanish." Ultimately I fessed up. We're still rocking.

7 bags this time. 3 aren't kettle cooked. It disgusts me too. 2 of those 3 are classics as I'm sure many of you would agree. Trying to lock down some North Fork Chips for the blockbuster volume 10.



Now this saddens me greatly. What you see above was intended to be volume 9. Unfortunately, for matters I prefer not to discuss, I wasn't able to execute. Route 11 chips? Who even heard of those? Peep the Utz Mystic with the double masted schooner in the background. WHAT?!? Down the drain. I could have lied. Posted on false pretense, but that's not how the H doooos. The truth is eating a bowl's worth of stale spuds didn't sound too appealing. More than that, I wouldn't have been able to fairly assess the intended chip experience. Never again.

For this post I included all pertinent info on top- size of bag, price and sodium. New to this? Peep the previous 8 "Stacks (Potato) Chips..." installments here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, Vol. 7 and Vol. 8.

Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Original
9oz./ $3.49./ 5% sodium.




What more is there to say? I believe it was all said up top. My main squeeze. Peep the packaging. A lighthouse. I love lighthouses. Edward Hopper steez. I'm a sucker for anything nautical. A necessity in the chip crate. All mid-sized chips with a great crunch. A bit lighter than Lay's kettle cooked, we going svelte in the uno uno. Pale yellow. The perfect mix of salt and sweetness of the potato. Mild flavors that keep you coming back for more. Addictive. Can dead a bag in one sitting. These really are phenomenal.

Archer Farms Traditional Kettle Cooked
8 oz./ 2 for $5 (only available at Target)/ 7% sodium.




A good chip with a strong crunch. Turned off by the excessive amount of folded chips. Let the potatoes stretch before you bag them. Not too salty and has a bland finish. Flavors just fall off, so you keep popping them in your mouth to feel the high. Colors vary with some chips having dark streaks but primarily golden yellow.

Deep River Snacks Rosemary & Olive Oil Kettle Cooked
5 oz./ $2.29/ 7% sodium.




Where's the romaine lettuce because these are croutons. Heavy crunch similar to them too. Shouldn't be surprised based on the flavor. Strong garlic finish. I forget why I copped. Probably just to pad the numbers. Deep River makes a quality thick, crunchy chip. Herbs are visible. Another victim of too many folded chips. Golden hued. Too many ingredients for me.


Archer Farms Macaroni & Cheese Thick Cut Crinkle
8 oz./ 2 for $5 (only available at Target)/ 10% sodium.




Was fiending for some macaroni and cheese when I saw these. Amazing how that works. Not a kettle cooked chip. Thick crinkle cut, a style I'm not a fan of. One handful and you've had enough. Rich. Wouldn't get again. OD on ingredients. Orangish yellow.

Original Lantchips Scandinavian Style Chip
Free with plate of Swedish Meatballs at Ikea.



Apparently I kept these around too long because when I opened the bag these tasted like shit. I blame myself for not respecting the laws of perishability. These get a mulligan. Next time I'm looking for Billy shelves I'll make sure to cop some chips and lingonberry soda. Nice color. Golden with brown ends.

Lay's Classic Chip
11 oz./ $3.99/ 7% sodium.




"Yo How- you ain't breaking new ground with these!" I know. I know. I know. But sometimes you got to stray from the plan of action. I pride myself on kettle style exclusivity but these chips are damn good. My favorite non-kettler. The bag helps too. Yellow is attractive and appealing. Market studies say so. The bag is big and easy to dip into. The chip count decreases with the quickness. Being a picnic chip, if I was in the Cloisters with a group of people on a sunny day eating a sandwich purchased from the Doowop Deli on 207th St., I would have these by my side. Large enough to split amongst a group, small, salty and a nice crunch. A bit too greasy though. Paler side of yellow.

Lay's Lightly Salted Chip
10.5 oz./ $3.99/ 4% sodium.



Same as above, just more sensitive to the needs of the high blood pressure posse. Fairly addictive. Late addition, not part of group photo.

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 8- The Road Trip Edition.

Ocho Chippo up in this bitch. Having tapped out all local tuber sources I needed to hit the road in search of more fried taters. You think I travel cause it's fun or relaxing?? Never that. Always an agenda. What we have here are 6 samples of chips west of the Mississippi. There was a bag of chips purchased in Pittsburgh- Giant Eagle I believe, but there was a BBQ going on and I couldn't go empty handed. I wish there could be more representation here, but we'll make due. Chips were purchased in Montana and Iowa, one of those 3 shitty states in a row that start with the letter "I". This time around I included images of the ingredients rather than comment on them. It's just the natural progression of things. I've already started to amass a lineup for Vol. 9 so stay tuned.

You can check out the previous 7 "Stack (Potato) Chips..." installments here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, Vol. 6, and Vol. 7.

Tim's Cascade Style Sea Salt & Vinegar Extra Thick & Crunchy

A mid-sized chip with nice crunch. Too sweet and salty however. Fingers look like you dipped them in a salt shaker. Caught a brief case of agita (Jersey Shersey up in here) after a couple. Doable in small doses but too intense after a bunch. Too many bent chips for my liking. Sweet aftertaste reminiscent of pie crust. Based out of Algona, WA, Tim's seems to do the right thing by both their employees and the environment. Peep more HERE. 8oz for $2.99.

Hawaiian Kettle Style Terriyaki Crispy & Crunchy

Terriyaki? Not in the least bit. More like sweet BBQ. This is out of my comfort zone but sometimes you need to try new things. The sweet makes sense since pineapples are all over the bag. Similar to the previous chip, bite-sized with a nice crunch. If you like those hokey type weird chips, you might dig this. These are part of the Hawaiian line under the Tim's umbrella.

Tim's Cascade Style Wasabi Extra Thick & Crunchy

Does it really matter how these taste when you're dipping your dogs in the Great Pacific? Stinson Beach, stand up.

I ate these months back so my recollection might be a bit weak. It was my beach bum summer days so you know I enjoyed them. Again, a nice sized chip with a strong crunch. That wasabi hits the nasals like wasabi does. Need to eat in doses. OD might be OD.

I'd like to take this time out to thank the following for providing the material in the second half of this post. Iowa's own Hiland Chips available at your local Kum & Go.
Pause.

Hiland Kettle Cooked Dill Pickles

Listen, I was in Iowa. What do you want from me? Maybe I was missing a Katz pastrami out in the great midwest and needed a reminder. First off, dill pickles are nowhere to be found in the ingredients. Neither is a pickle. And neither is dill. Those green specs on the chips are Parsley. I fucking hate parsley. Damn Iowans, get your shit straight. Majority bite-sized, yet thinner than most kettle cooked chips. Decent crunch. Off-putting after taste. Never again.

Hiland Kettle Cooked Salt & Pepper

Cardboardy. Way too much pepper, as is evident by looking above. Some chips were saltier than others. Tiny chips with minor crunch. Dare I say these might have tasted better with more ingredients, namely preservatives.

Hiland Kettle Cooked Original

Pretty good chip. Not too salty. Scratch that- super salty after a bunch. Lip numbing salt in fact. Thin chip, as noted before with a decent crunch. Feels like it's going to be a boring chip, but ends nicely. Fairly addictive if you can withstand the pain.

I wish the road trip garnered more than this but nope. Just 6 lousy bags of potato chips. I'll have to do it again once summer hits.

HowfreshEats Stacks (Potato) Chips Like Hebrews Vol. 7- The Whole Foods Edition.

Lucky # 7. Mickey Mantle status. This could and should be 2 posts. 1 for the fried taters, and another for the grand introduction to Whole Foods. My organic/local/slow foods/artisanal cherry has been popped. I thought WF was some crunchy cooperative patchouli scented wierdo fest. Boy was I wrong. This place is an epicurean wonder land. The prepared foods alone would take me a month to conquer. OK, maybe a week. I am ashamed that a man of my stature in the food game is a Whole Foods newbie. It's what I get for judging. And hating. 4 bags were acquired from WF and 2 were purchased at the market across from 21 Mercer, based on the recommendation of some big dog in the sneaker game, gate keeper status. Sneakers and potato chips have more in common than you think. Think about it.

You can check out the previous 6 "Stack (Potato) Chips..." installments here: Vol. 1, Vol. 2, Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5, and Vol. 6.

Herr's Kettle Cooked Boardwalk Salt & Vinegar

I'll admit, Herr's isn't on my radar. Chip snob? Maybe. Major bite and acidity. A good chip, light and easy to eat. Fairly addictive. Not as thick and crunchy as other "kettle" chips, though more substantial than a bag of Lay's. A little lip swelling after a decent sitting. The vinegar and salt do not play. Never saw chips on a boardwalk, only salt water taffy, but I won't question it. Heavy with the ingredients- lactose, barley flour, sodium diacetate, silicon dioxide (anti-caking agent). Cooked in vegetable oil (corn, cottonseed or soybean). 8.5 oz bag, $3.49.

365 Sea Salt & Vinegar Kettle Cooked

365 is Whole Food's in-house brand. This is the salt & vinegar chip for beginner's. No bite whatsoever. Sweet in fact. Seems like a milder, less acidic cider vinegar. There's a lingering taste that I can't describe- sweet, floral? Something I'm not accustomed to in the pantheon of chipology. Not offensive, just different. 8.5 oz bag, $3.50.

Kettle Brand Jalapeno

Like all Kettle Brand product, a really nice chip. Always crunchy, bite-sized, and packed with flavor. Jalapeno is a newer flavor extension as noted by the red chile ablaze on the bag. A darker chip specked with tiny pieces of parsley, it packs some heat. Nothing unbearable, but if squeamish to some fire, I'd suggest you stay away. Nice blend of salt, spice and sweet. OD on ingredients, however Kettle brand utilizes "wind power, solar power, green building and biodiesel" thus maintaining a small carbon footprint. That's what I'm talking about. 5 oz. bag, $2.50-$3.

Tyrrell's Cider Vinegar & Sea Salt

I had read about these in a foodie mag (hate foodies) so when I saw these on the WF shelf you know I snatched them with the quickness. Does that make me a foodie? Ugh, fuck me. Anyway, these are made in the UK, Herefordshire to be more specific. Similar to the afore mentioned 365 sea salt & vinegar chip, these are very mild, and sweet. A darker potato, these are very dry, i.e. less oil than most chips. Great salt distribution. The first bite gives off sweet followed by a back of tongue saltiness. Listen, it's what I'm feeling. (I imagine a pause is necessary since the words, salt, sweet, tongue, feeling etc. were used) The bag doesn't advertise "kettle cooked" but reads "hand cooked." Thinner than typical kettle cooked, but just as crunchy. Sunflower oil with a variety of other ingredients including vinegar powders, sugar and lemon powders. 5.3 oz. bag, $3.50.

Boulder Canyon Totally Natural

I like my chips just as I like my women, totally natural. Ahh, the lovely Boulder Canyon. They're like that girl that you were really serious with and then things end. You see her years later and it just feels good- things are just where you left off. And then you wonder why it even ended. But there's no need for any serious talk, just enjoy the moment. These chips are great. Quality is unparalleled. Flavorful- the potato is always the star of the show- earthy and salty. Crazy crunch. Very rich, to the point that I get a little heartburn after too many. Heart burn, heart ache? Same shit- see the comparison? 5 0z. bag, $3.

365 Organic Classic Potato Salt & Pepper

Forgive me for this purchase. Not kettle cooked. What was I thinking? Mad brittle and too light, color and feel. But it's organic. Do enjoy the heavy amount of pepper, organic pepper that is. Fuck that, take 2 and pass. 5 oz. bag, $3.